Meera chapter 9

She reached home and all she could think of was how nice Sid was and that she can still be hopeful to meet someone nice like him after the horrified incident in her past where she was abused and tortured to death. "God, I don't want to think about chirag now. I don't even want to remember his name", she told herself.

She checked her phone at least 100 times to see if he pinged her on whatsapp or chaton or did he send her a friends request on Facebook. She decided not to send request first or call first or message first as that has always led her in wrong paths before. She decided to be patient and wait for him to show that he is also interested like she is. The wait was over when she came back from office the next day and decided to login to her Gmail account and here it was - an email from Sid. Shit why didn't I check my Gmail account, she thought.

It read -

Hi, just got up from a long sleep after reaching home.I was thinking about our chat yesterday and now I am wondering if that's why I got lot of dreams last night. But it should wear off soon.  I am unable to find you on Facebook so please send me your link and also I am not on whats app but will download and let you know - not sure if I will stick there though :)

She read over and over again these 5 lines and the first thing she did was to send him a friends request. Ofcourse she had already found him on Facebook but was only being patient. Now she could not be more patient. And voila, he was online so instant approval and they started chatting instantly.

Meera: Hi, glad to see your mail. I hardly login to this id but I am glad I did today.

Sid: Thank you for adding me on Facebook, Why your id was not searchable?

Meera: I have privacy settings thats why. So how are you?

Sid: I am fine. My dog is behaving weird, he is not recognizing me at all.

Meera: Give him sometime. He must have missed you a lot when you were not there and therefore may be throwing tantrums.

Sid: ya you are right. But I am so glad, I am finally on my bed. I just don't get sleep anywhere else.

Meera: Oh, I thought you didn't sleep nicely last night due to dreams.(she hoped silently that he meant her when he wrote that line)

Sid: Ya I know its strange. Usually I dont get that many dreams but dont know how this happened.

At night around 7:45, Sid called on her cell phone. 

Hi.

Hi.

Sid:So whatsup?

Meera: Nothing. I just finished writing my blog.

Sid: I guess I asked you to send me your blog address. 

Meera: Ya... actually its private, I mean except for some close friends, no body knows about that address. I want the blog to be popular in real way.

Sid: Well, ok, But I still want to read it.

Meera: hmmm, ok give me some days. I will send you the link. So what are you up to?

Sid: Nothing. Just planning to go for a movie.

Meera: Which one?

Sid: Highway. Have you seen it.

Meera: No. I will watch it in some days with a friend(She had no plans of watching and she hoped he would ask her to accompany him for the movie).

Sid: Shoot. I would have asked you to come along but these tickets were booked for some time and now I kind of have to go.

Meera: Ok, have fun. talk to you later then I guess. Even I have to complete this blog now.

Sid: Bye Meera. But ping me once you are free.

After one hour, when she was done with he dinner and was enjoying her green tea, she saw a text from Sid.

Sid: someone was supposed to ping me. :(

she replied,  someone is busy watching a movie. :^

Sid: Relax. Its just a movie. Ping me any time. I will reply. :)

She thought to herself, its going way too fast. Either he is just a flirt or I am misunderstanding everything and she replied, "Hmm that's cool. But you enjoy the movie. Will talk to you later."

Sid: You ditcher. :^

This became a daily ritual. He would call at 7:30 PM and that is the time when she would be returning from her jogging. They would talk for sometime. Since he was working at a start up company, he did not have time limitations with him. He would call as and when he is free and since she was also only working with her NGO those days, she used to enjoy those time out with him.

On that Sunday night, he called at 9 PM and they spoke till 2 AM in the morning. He was an intellectual boy and very engrossed in politics. She on the other hand kept all knowledge of the happenings but her heart for more into developing the society so which made their talks even more interesting. A dedicated government would have got ample amount of ideas if they would have tapped their conversations. 

Finally next weekend, they both decided to meet at a coffee house and he informed her about a job opportunity in one of his friends organization. 

Their meeting was all Meera could think that whole week. She decided everything- from attire to hairdo, even conversed with him in mind for several hours..

Oprah in Me

We all have seen numerous episodes of the famous Oprah Winfrey talk show but I gotta say that I always wanted to hear what she is thinking more than the participant's and my wish got fulfilled today when I watched Oprah being interviewed at Stanford Graduate School of Business. 

What can I say. I am more in love with her and mostly more in love with myself. Well, if you are thinking what the hell! she is again self praising then you have to watch the show. Believe you me, you have to.

I was in tears today after a long time. These sort of tears first came in presence in my life when I finished reading "The Alchemist". Its not really the sobbing kind of tears but more like when you know that someone who lives miles away and has never met you has understood something deeper about you and mostly when you have that feeling -- You know that something has woken up or say shaken up-- something was sleeping for sometime is now out there naked in front of you. In easy words- when you have a self realization about YOU.

We know this fact and I truly believe this that pain and sorrows and wrong decisions are all the most powerful and great things in life. When we suffer we actually open doors to self realization and to the understanding of a better decision. Imagine if we simply learn to adjust to the bad circumstances and situations and live with them thinking its destiny then we might take a very long time to understand the purpose, one can call it "The Calling" or in totality "the knowledge of real we". Or may be in right terms - The process of self realization.

Elizabeth Gilbert rightly says- Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.

But does that understanding comes easily to all of us? Well not to me. I too like most people would sit and cry on the sorrows for more than deserved time. However, I personally always know, deep down, that its time - to move on. I always know, that some person and I can just never be friends and this is not because I feel someone is not good enough for me, its just that, I know that at this moment, we are at different places.

Oprah also spoke about the SELF LOVE. I have a personal experience with this and the story goes like - Recently during a training session, we were asked to rate different aspect in our life from number 1- 10 whereas 1 being the most important thing and 10 being the least important thing. The things included everything from friends, family, partner, children, self, job, etc etc. I instantly, without thinking for even a second placed myself at number 1 and passion/ dream at number 2(even if I don't have clarity on that as of today) and then friend and family. I was surprised to see that me and one more guy were the only two people who rated ourselves at number 1 and it really got me thinking that am I self consumed and are all these other people really that selfless?

Well my understanding of the thought is - arent we suppose to fill our cup first before being able to offer the other person something. Oprah today solved my misery. She spoke the same things what I always thought that in life until and unless you are happy with yourself you can  never spread happiness around. Think deeply about this and you also might think the same.
Also, one more thing which stuck and will stay with me forever is, when she said that people often ask this question to themselves-what would you say to your younger self-  Oprah says just RELAX.. everything will be fine. its gonna be ok. The Que to being eloquent with the truth is when you are drifting off-course you know that this is it and you need to shift gears , move in another direction. May be again you will hit a wall but then again you know that you need to turn further more and thus eventually you will come across the path which you are destined for. Sooner or later, one will get there.

She also said- Think what is the next right move and then next move and so on rather then thinking the whole life at once. Further she added, know that your life is not defined by what someone tells you.

So here it goes, the truth revelation once again, you are the master of your destiny. Why live small when you are here for living it large. Why fear criticism when at end you are just gonna be fine.

Meera chapter 8

2 Months back.

Meera was travelling back from Jaipur after meeting her mother from Shatabdi express that is when she found her seat next to a very handsome man. The train journey is for almost 5 hours from Jaipur to Delhi and hence she felt relieved that she does not have to spend that time chatting with an aunty like she did the last time when all that aunty wanted to talk about was how girls of this generation are proving to be extremely bad daughter in laws and how she was the perfect one who always obeyed her mom in law in her younger times.

While trying to adjust a heavy suitcase on the compartment above their seats she almost lost the balance and trembled with the bag. She felt immensely ashamed at herself for being clumsy in front of a dude. On the other hand, he offered his big and strong hands to help her with the luggage. "Thank you" she said to offer her nice gesture for the help provided by gentleman. "That's all right." he spoke in a very manly voice. "Hi, I am Siddharth. pause. How bout you? " he continued. Not only was he good looking, he had a very hot voice too which suited his tall, dark and handsome personality.

"Hi, I am Meera. ", she replied in a calm and happy voice and hoped that the journey of 5 hours would end enjoyable.

"Wow, what a beautiful name. I guess, I have heard it for the first time in real life. I mean I have heard the name before but only in movies and mythological stories but never in real life." he said excitedly.

"Ya, my grandfather kept my name. But it caused quite a stir in family at that time.", she replied.

"Stir? Why?" He was inquisitive.

"Well, if you know about the mythology then the name Meera is associated with sacrifice, loneliness etc and my mother feared that I will end up sacrificing my life for someone I love and will not get the usual happy married life", she told genuinely.

"That's just rubbish. Our society has lot of stigma. I am sure name has nothing to do with all those things in life." he further asked, "so what do you do?"

"Nothing actually. I am searching for a job in Delhi. I just moved in the city couple of months back"

"Oh,well I can surely help you with job. I have many friends in Delhi. Send me your resume and I should be able to help you."

"That's great. Thank you. So what do you do Siddharth?"

"You can call me Sid. I have a startup company and I work with a partner. Prior to that I used to work with reggolb corporation. I am not sure if you have heard of them"

"Ya I have heard of them. They are into event management right? "

"Oh yes."

Their conversation was interrupted when the Shatabdi waiter came to offer them breakfast which included some pasta, bread butter jam, eggs and coffee.

"Hmm I like their breakfast.", he said and to that Meera replied only with an Me too smile.

Through rest of the journey, they spoke about everything from their favorite movies, favorite stars, favorite hobbies to bad travelling experiences. She did not forget to include the aunty in conversation she had met last time. They knew that people seated near by are listening to their conversations. From time to time they were realizing the fact that many people are all ears to their talk but they did not care at that time.

By the end of 5 hours, they knew a lot about each other and there were many similarities like they both were avid fans of offbeat Indian cinema with their favorites ranging from water to rang de basanti to Mr and Mrs Iyer. And to the fact that they both were sensitive towards current and crying issues, she being all for the underprivileged children and he was aggressive towards the corrupt and lethargic politics. They exchanged phone numbers and Sid promised to help Meera in finding a job.

That was a perfect journey and there was that moment when they both felt the need to say bye with a hug but it would have been tat bit too much so they both shook hands and promised to keep in touch but at that time all she thought of was the happy time she spent and that how much she adored her new friend and she had no idea that this little meeting could tremble her life way too much then she trembled in train. But at that time he was straightaway to the bucket where she would keep guys who had chance of turning into some one special.