Dead Hearts Are Everywhere!

Like Crazy.

Have you seen this movie? No? Then please DON'T but actually please watch. It will break your heart but I guess you already are broken. No? Well, I guess then you are one lucky kid of the Devil. No? Then please watch. I want you to feel it. I want you to miss it. I also want you to believe in it.

I certainly should not have seen it. It was me, in tits and bits, my life, broken, shattered, disoriented, delusioned, betrayal, love, desire, wait, it was me but still it wasn't. I cant tell you the story if you have not seen this as I just can't. There was nothing glamorous in the story but yes it was glamorous. The saddest part was that I was there at all the disappointing parts of the film and never once I saw myself at the happy place. It makes me sad that no one ever came back for me. Did they come back for you? Well, didn't I tell you earlier only you bloody kid of the Devil. 

But I know you also would have felt it at some point in your life. May be not like me as you would never have loved like me but again as they say people like me are a real rare species. You can't snatch that from me. Being rare.

This blog is not needed. Not at all. This should go into my diary and not in a public forum but already made a decision to fill my diary with ONLY gratitude so oopsy no place for unhappiness there. But mostly I want to drag this disappointment from my heart and actually peel of the pain and write it here for the space to accept it. I don't need this anymore. There should be no space left for the grudge of accepting love when I knew it was gone. I shouldn't have but then how else I would have learned to let go. Yup I did not get the euphoria feeling which you get when that person comes back begging for you to accept them and you feel that happiness of being wanted again but it was all for good at the end. This is how I had to learn.

This is how we all learn. Isn't it? We fall in love, we plan endlessly of love and then we get it but somehow love never seems to be enough for long. What if you are one of those lucky ones who actually get that so called "True Love" in their lives? Will you keep your faith strong when time throws a hard ball at you? Please I beg of you. Keep Faith in your love. Its really rare for someone to get it. Please VALUE it. You can still earn a lot of money and travel the world, meet thousands of new people, buy that house but if that one person who is sitting by your side is what you ever wanted then keep that on priority. 

You know what is plague? A friend today was talking about a rat which had found its way into his house and I kept thinking of this word "plague" at that time but this was just not popping up in my head and see here it is. While writing it just presented it self like a glory as if it had a glory to it but I guess it is very very glorious word. It is capable of killing the person within a short time span and that is scary. Before you knew it you are gone. 

Why did I write about this sick infection? Well I think "taking each other for granted" is the plague of a perfect relationship. Think about it? You wanted each other real badly and you got what you wanted but now things have changed its perspectives. Its like all of a sudden a lot of other things are of a lot of importance. Stop there. Please. If you won't stop and rather decide to continue the way you are going by taking each other for granted then this sick disease will find its way in to each and every cell of your love. First it will eat the desire for each other then slowly and steadily it will work its way upwards to the nitty gritty of your relationship.

You will find excuses to move away but still you will play smart and will move only to a near distance so that when the love or guilt of leaving love arises then you can easily come back but will it be same again? No. It won't be.

I know that look in their eyes. I can feel it. Its Gone. They know it but they want to hang in and find the fragments of it hanging loosely from edges.

No matter how closely you will look into each others eyes you will just not see that thing again which was there when you fell in love. It will be in fragments here and there and somehow you will not be able to put it back together. No matter how nice you behave with one another you will know what is missing and it will always be missing as you have spoiled it. You spoiled the broth as there were too many cooks. You are getting my point. Aren't you?  If you are like me then you will think of the time when you first met and you will see yourself in mirror and try and find the changes in the ways you look and change them back as you want it back at any cost. You will even find ways to make things look attractive but will it ever look attractive when the essence is gone? Stop fooling yourself. If you are me then you will still hang in there and wait. Patiently. Its funny that people always told me I am impatient and see how much patience I showed. I am really not proud for once on my patience but maybe I am. I am proud to hang in until I could find the strength to kill it, burn it and destroy it. But it was already dead. I was trying hard to get rid of it when it was gone long back. How stupid I have been. You please don't be like me. 

But I do hope that like me you will find faith again. Its there around it. It always was there and was waiting for you to give it some attention. Now that you have found it, hold on to it. Love will find its way back into your life. It will. I promise you. It will. Do not think that its too late for love to happen as it is not bound by age. It never was and it never will. You might be 50 and but still fresh in love so hang in there my friend. Snatch away that sorrow and throw it in space like I did and feel empty again as once you are empty and ready to receive love again it will come in abundance. But you need to do the work as they rightly say that there are no free lunches available. Yes moving on from dejection to acceptance takes a lot of work. 

If you need any help then let me know. I can share what I did with myself and how I found that space for universe in my life again.