Here we go again. New year, New resolutions and a bunch of New hopes.
I want to share something with all of you today. I have this practice of writing diary on most nights and its a habit living with me from last 20 odd years but lately it got converted into Gratitude diary and every now and then I read all the happier memories and not the other way around. This new year however I decided to skip that activity and rather focus on the learnings I have had the last year. After-all, life is all about new experiences and learning we get from every situation and event which takes place in our lives. Isn't it?
As per my diary, it was indeed a year filled with tricky situations, pleasant twists and curvy bends but each time it led me to the place where I was meant to be and every single time it taught me something incredible. I am sharing those with all of you and I hope they will bring ease into your lives as well. After-all we sometimes learn from others mistakes also. So here they are-
- Best gift you can give yourself - Gift of "moving on". It happens in each of our lives that we seldom get stuck on the person who left us miserable or a habit which is killing our time or the unhappy/ sad past which we have been clinging on to since ages. Have you noticed that when we get stuck in the same spot of misery for long we actually start to build our lives around it and everything seems to revolve around the thing. Often times we actually get so used to the misery that we hate the idea of moving on but ofcourse we do this argument only in our heads and on the surface we appear strong and stable and unaffected by the thing. But its easy to move on. Really I am not kidding. Just make a decision and start walking away from it and before you know it you will see a sparkling path ahead of yourself.
- Solve it yourself. Its a daily routine when you walk up to your colleague in office and share your issues with her and more than often times you are just sharing to ease off the burden of situation because we learned in childhood that problems become lesser when shared with people. But what really happens when we share our problems with every tom dick and harry? Well we give the other person more than required rights to dictate our life. Hence, solve it yourself and if you really cant then share with people who believe in you and love you and not with the first person who looks like the best one who could offers you sympathy or solace.
- Distance can be good. Yeah it happened when your friend yelled on you for something which was not your mistake or when you slipped way too much information about your feelings. You get to an awkward bend and you dont want to loose the friendship. So what you should do? Get some distance and use this time to build yourself without that person. The moment you will realize that you are actually able to take care of yourself alone then you will feel less agitated about the bitter issues and it will be easier to forgive the person and forget the bad memory plus the issue will dissolve itself between you two.
- Its easy to Focus only on the good. We go to office and receive the closure report of the previous day and once again the targets were not met and you see the grumpy face of your boss and tell yourself "ho gaya/ my entire day is screwed". Funny things is that the events following that morning will start enveloping in bad worse and worst manner. Rather do this - start writing gratitude every night before sleeping. Sit down with pen and diary in your hand and think about 5 good memories from the day. lets see, the scores were bad but when you told your boss that you will make sure it will be done today then he/she relaxed a lot, you received a much awaited mail, you went to gym without fail and it could be as simple as breathing the fresh air. The habit of writing Gratitude will makes you focus only on the best part of day and everything else will soon become only a noise. Period.
- Smiling in adverse situation is easier than we think. There is no argument on this. You had the worse day today? Well go watch an episode of Friends and you will smile instantly and when you can do this then why not just take a few deep breaths and smile for yourself? You are facing a challenging situation? Take a few minutes, go take a small walk and smile in silence. Everything will look lighter.
- We all make mistakes. Remember that you are only a Human. Yes you went on that date where you should not have gone, yes you shared more than required information about someone else, yes you skipped the workout and yes you again fell for the wrong one. Well, accept your mistake,forgive yourself and learn from it. The most important thing is not to have a grudge against someone else for your mistake. Why give a space of your head on rent to someone else? Doesn't it makes sense?
- Know when to stop waiting at the closed door. You had it all by your self but now its gone but still you have a feeling that the opportunity will come back to you and there is a possibility that it will. But at times its really the dead end and you will know it in your heart that yes it is a closed door now so at that time its best to consciously look for a window and move away from that closed door.
- Perception can be changed with positive attitude. If I have learned something truly in this last year then it is this- perception changes quicker than trends. People make assumptions about you or situation or political party but the moment a louder voice comes in front then it all gets changed. But God-forbid if its you who have fallen prey to a bad perception from everyone around you then remember that nothing is lost. Just focus on having a positive attitude and people will change quicker than you know.
- Friends are those who stand by your side even when you act sick and silly. We are busy and who has time for friends but yet we call each other friends. We party together, we shop together and we bitch together but the moment you show your inner self they run away as you are not cooler anymore or when they show you their shady side then you crib of having spent too much time with that person. Well, understand that Friends in need are Friends in deed. If you can not be that one then do not pretend or if you are with someone who is pretending then please ditch that person. You dont need friends for activities as you can do it all by yourself. I am not kidding. Go have a beer alone and you will understand what I am saying. But important thing is that make friends on whom you can count on and who can count on you. life is short so don't waste your time pretending instead invest your time in really loving.
- Happiness is an attitude and not a destination to arrive at. There is a saying by Buddha that "There is no path to Happiness but Happiness is the path" and yet we all seek it like a destination to arrive at. Its time we stop waiting for an eventful day when happiness will meet us like the day when you will become a house owner or the moment you will meet the one you are destined to be with or the day of your promotion. Instead lets live with Happiness in our heart and soul. Feel it inside you each day. Begin today.
What were your learnings? Let me know as I would love to hear from you.
Very well written dear.
ReplyDeleteThank you shweta :)
DeleteThank you shweta :)
DeleteVery well written dear.
ReplyDeleteLiked reading this very much :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Jonathan. I am glad you liked it. :)
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