Zero visibility

Early morning # Delhi # Thick Fog # Cab ride

If you are one of those lucky people who leave for office early morning at 6 AM like me then you ought to read it.

Just like any other day, I got up at 4.30 to get ready for office, bathed after having 15 minutes long argument with brain,  almost ran while doing chores, as always time was running behind me...literally.

I get in cab almost in shivers of chill and an hour long journey starts to office and what do I see, think ...damn thick fog.

The kind of fog where in some thriller english movie captain says.. we are passing through zero visibility and then boom....goes our story to a new angle. But nothing of that sorts happens here...my bad luck.

In my cab, the suzy miss chat box sleeps the very moment she sits in cab, the gentlemen whose fancy cell phone is out if order also sleeps in pain of his missing sound box, snory guy , well I rather not comment about him.. let his snores rest in peace, our mam in action has, well I guess dozed off into deep deep slumber..

And what am I doing...enjoying my wierd imaginations about wierd things in life and listening to songs collection of radio city which is as always one good song between 4 bad ones.

You guys njoy your morning cab ride.  I so wish people are not dozing in your cab.
Amen

You can hurt me - you can hurt me not!

Have you ever wondered how much of pain and tears we have wasted in our lives due to someone else's jerkiness towards us?

Image from http://www.deviantart.com/

All those teenage years passed in picking rose petals while chanting you love me -you love me not. Isn't it strange that how desperate we become when we develop this strange desire to be liked and loved by someone we barely knew until few days ago. I sometimes wonder if this desire is completely self aggravated or it has some sort of psychics attached to it. How on earth that one person gets so damn important to us in the whole world. All our energies are towards him and him only. All we want at that time is to be approved and paid attention to. I guess nothing much has changed since teenage years. Girls will be girls and as my dear friend Pi would say " women are the sole problem of this universe". I don't really agree with him but don't differ completely also. This emotional market is due to us - the senty types of creatures amongst the two.

No matter how mature we become, we still wear our heart on our sleeves and we love those cushy mushy, lovey dovey things, well most of us does, I guess, err, not sure though.

I had a friend in college whose boyfriend would collect all the movie tickets, restaurant bills, restaurant tissue papers (believe me, its weird but he did) and miscellaneous things like this which would have memories of both of them and then on one of the valentines days he gifted her a book with all those things pasted on each page with their pictures and some stolen love quotes from famous writers and we all went aweeeee after seeing that. I wonder if he had her poop tissue paper also but never asked her, only two of us giggled and kept that as a secret inside joke. And what happens next valentines days? Any guesses? She finds out that he had one more girlfriend in his home town from last 3 years and we went whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat after hearing that but silently felt that anyways it was too good to be true. LOL

Well, doesn't it makes sense? If everything goes like a Bollywood movies and the only important task of a guy is to love her, hold her and protect her from goons then OMG I am suffocated.

Jokes apart, I remember that friend and she was shattered for days and why should I lie when I myself have suffered some major heart breaks and even though I have never experienced heart failure, I can vouch that the pain of heart break is nothing less. You do feel like the end of the world and would cry a thousand rivers. But nothing at all makes sense after a certain period of time and do you know how much the melancholy songs and gifts industry is booming because of us. There were days when we only had some flowers and greeting cards and now we have a whole range of greeting cards, love cards, heart break cards, special chocolates, custom made gifts and key-chains and stuff toys. You name it and its there for you.

So rather than all that jazz and drama of emotional heart failures and rather than increasing the emotional business  of these people who cash on your love, pain and feelings, lets play another game of you hurt me - you hurt me not.

Why on earth we ever gave that much rights to someone we hardly knew to hurt us at first place. Listen to yourself when you say I can't live without him. Why cant you? Your life was perfectly fine before he arrived on that non available imaginative horse and when it could have been fine before him then it will surely be fine after him.

I know there was love and there were desires and may be dreams and now all that is gone. SO ? So, its a good news. How many times do you get a clean slate? You have the power to write a new story on that clean slate. Let go of all the resentment and make a plan and just go with the flow. Who knows, you might end up meeting with a lost part of yourself somewhere in the meadow.

Most important, make a decision to not let anyone hurt you. Its on you. The power is vested in YOU.

Winning end of 2014

Year 2014 came to closure and what a year it was, completed with some out of box experiences, unexpected fun with unavoidable delays in few projects but all in all what a year!

Today as I look back and see how the last two years in Delhi have shaped and changed me I feel quiet pleased with the results. In 2013 where I was completely lost and infact I assume I was suffering from some sort of dimetia where I didn't know what to expect next and came 2014 and came some plans and I was my best self who loves to plan and execute, who is always upbeat for a New Project. And I happen to complete 3 out of 5 of my goals and thats not that bad. Actually its more like 3 and half of my goals.

1) Trekking Trip -

The year 2014 started with a bang where in February I got a chance to break free and go for a mountain trek, Naag Tibba. I always loved the idea of trekking, hiking and I guess in wildest imaginations I have trekked K2 also. But to my surprise the trek was smooth, difficult at certain areas but all in all a life changing experience. I still can not forget the time when I opened the zipper of my tent on an early morning and the zipper won't function and to my surprise I realized that it was jammed due to snow. The view from top, the adrenaline rush, few mad boys posing top less pictures at the peak, bonfire, chicken curry, cup of tea in frozen hands and many stories and laughter shared around the fire. To read more---

http://pawarnewwriter.blogspot.in/2014/02/naag-tibba-trek-introduction.html

and

http://pawarnewwriter.blogspot.in/2014/02/naag-tibba-part2.html

Some Unreleased videos -

2) Art Of Living-

Well I always wanted to do this course and its from the time I heard my friends aunt doing it and it was way back in college. I expected to go there and learn some meditation and come back with something new in life but little did I know that I would end up learning more than I signed up for. Little did I know that I would meet people who will become my close friends with time. Little did I know that my mentors will be my mentors for even after the course. This experience was just out of  the box for me. From nervous I went to serene. From scared I went to exhilarated.  To read more --

http://pawarnewwriter.blogspot.in/2014/05/art-of-living.html

3) At work achievement -

Well until yesterday I was thinking that I only got two of my Big 5's but just clicked that I did get promoted. Ok relax, I know its less and mostly not a big big promotion but guess what its worth mentioning as a big 5 as I was close to not getting it. So here I am Master Analyst. Chuckles.

4 and 5 are somewhere close but I am working on the two and will surely get it done in 2015.

Apart from the "Big 5", I got to visit Bangalore twice and both the times it was just more fun than the last time. I made friends for life and I am too glad for that. Had some fun family time. In short, when everything seems to be hazy and you can't figure out life then just let it be. Go out and have as much as fun as you can.

cant stop laughing

posers

i kicked some popo

Yes ofcourse, I learned many things and had some weird experiences. Like learned the importance of fitness and developed a love for it too. Got my hands on writing and enjoying the process. Understood how brain of people work in Delhi and stopped taking things too seriously. Met some wonderful people and have decided to let go of some. Had tremendous fun with friends and loved ones. Somethings I felt was a sure shot win which I lost and some I still wonder how on earth was so easy. As I introspect the days went by, I can easily frame the whole story. Well it really was something unexpected. All most everything turned exact opposite of what I would have imagined and I am glad it did.

A friend recently asked what do you want to do in your life and the only response I could give was that I want to smile, laugh and be happy. 

looking forward to the new year and still have to make BIG 5 list of 2015.

For now I would like to extend my warm wishes to all of you out there and hope that you all were also able to achieve what you had planned for last year. Let me know what was that.