If you are one of those lucky people who leave for office early morning at 6 AM like me then you ought to read it.
Just like any other day, I got up at 4.30 to get ready for office, bathed after having 15 minutes long argument with brain, almost ran while doing chores, as always time was running behind me...literally.
I get in cab almost in shivers of chill and an hour long journey starts to office and what do I see, think ...damn thick fog.
The kind of fog where in some thriller english movie captain says.. we are passing through zero visibility and then boom....goes our story to a new angle. But nothing of that sorts happens here...my bad luck.
In my cab, the suzy miss chat box sleeps the very moment she sits in cab, the gentlemen whose fancy cell phone is out if order also sleeps in pain of his missing sound box, snory guy , well I rather not comment about him.. let his snores rest in peace, our mam in action has, well I guess dozed off into deep deep slumber..
And what am I doing...enjoying my wierd imaginations about wierd things in life and listening to songs collection of radio city which is as always one good song between 4 bad ones.
You guys njoy your morning cab ride. I so wish people are not dozing in your cab. Amen
Have you ever wondered how much of pain and tears we have wasted in our lives due to someone else's jerkiness towards us?
Image from http://www.deviantart.com/
All those teenage years passed in picking rose petals while chanting you love me -you love me not. Isn't it strange that how desperate we become when we develop this strange desire to be liked and loved by someone we barely knew until few days ago. I sometimes wonder if this desire is completely self aggravated or it has some sort of psychics attached to it. How on earth that one person gets so damn important to us in the whole world. All our energies are towards him and him only. All we want at that time is to be approved and paid attention to. I guess nothing much has changed since teenage years. Girls will be girls and as my dear friend Pi would say " women are the sole problem of this universe". I don't really agree with him but don't differ completely also. This emotional market is due to us - the senty types of creatures amongst the two.
No matter how mature we become, we still wear our heart on our sleeves and we love those cushy mushy, lovey dovey things, well most of us does, I guess, err, not sure though.
I had a friend in college whose boyfriend would collect all the movie tickets, restaurant bills, restaurant tissue papers (believe me, its weird but he did) and miscellaneous things like this which would have memories of both of them and then on one of the valentines days he gifted her a book with all those things pasted on each page with their pictures and some stolen love quotes from famous writers and we all went aweeeee after seeing that. I wonder if he had her poop tissue paper also but never asked her, only two of us giggled and kept that as a secret inside joke. And what happens next valentines days? Any guesses? She finds out that he had one more girlfriend in his home town from last 3 years and we went whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat after hearing that but silently felt that anyways it was too good to be true. LOL
Well, doesn't it makes sense? If everything goes like a Bollywood movies and the only important task of a guy is to love her, hold her and protect her from goons then OMG I am suffocated.
Jokes apart, I remember that friend and she was shattered for days and why should I lie when I myself have suffered some major heart breaks and even though I have never experienced heart failure, I can vouch that the pain of heart break is nothing less. You do feel like the end of the world and would cry a thousand rivers. But nothing at all makes sense after a certain period of time and do you know how much the melancholy songs and gifts industry is booming because of us. There were days when we only had some flowers and greeting cards and now we have a whole range of greeting cards, love cards, heart break cards, special chocolates, custom made gifts and key-chains and stuff toys. You name it and its there for you.
So rather than all that jazz and drama of emotional heart failures and rather than increasing the emotional business of these people who cash on your love, pain and feelings, lets play another game of you hurt me - you hurt me not.
Why on earth we ever gave that much rights to someone we hardly knew to hurt us at first place. Listen to yourself when you say I can't live without him. Why cant you? Your life was perfectly fine before he arrived on that non available imaginative horse and when it could have been fine before him then it will surely be fine after him.
I know there was love and there were desires and may be dreams and now all that is gone. SO ? So, its a good news. How many times do you get a clean slate? You have the power to write a new story on that clean slate. Let go of all the resentment and make a plan and just go with the flow. Who knows, you might end up meeting with a lost part of yourself somewhere in the meadow.
Most important, make a decision to not let anyone hurt you. Its on you. The power is vested in YOU.
Year 2014 came to closure and what a year it was, completed with some out of box experiences, unexpected fun with unavoidable delays in few projects but all in all what a year!
Today as I look back and see how the last two years in Delhi have shaped and changed me I feel quiet pleased with the results. In 2013 where I was completely lost and infact I assume I was suffering from some sort of dimetia where I didn't know what to expect next and came 2014 and came some plans and I was my best self who loves to plan and execute, who is always upbeat for a New Project. And I happen to complete 3 out of 5 of my goals and thats not that bad. Actually its more like 3 and half of my goals.
1) Trekking Trip -
The year 2014 started with a bang where in February I got a chance to break free and go for a mountain trek, Naag Tibba. I always loved the idea of trekking, hiking and I guess in wildest imaginations I have trekked K2 also. But to my surprise the trek was smooth, difficult at certain areas but all in all a life changing experience. I still can not forget the time when I opened the zipper of my tent on an early morning and the zipper won't function and to my surprise I realized that it was jammed due to snow. The view from top, the adrenaline rush, few mad boys posing top less pictures at the peak, bonfire, chicken curry, cup of tea in frozen hands and many stories and laughter shared around the fire. To read more---
Well I always wanted to do this course and its from the time I heard my friends aunt doing it and it was way back in college. I expected to go there and learn some meditation and come back with something new in life but little did I know that I would end up learning more than I signed up for. Little did I know that I would meet people who will become my close friends with time. Little did I know that my mentors will be my mentors for even after the course. This experience was just out of the box for me. From nervous I went to serene. From scared I went to exhilarated. To read more --
Well until yesterday I was thinking that I only got two of my Big 5's but just clicked that I did get promoted. Ok relax, I know its less and mostly not a big big promotion but guess what its worth mentioning as a big 5 as I was close to not getting it. So here I am Master Analyst. Chuckles.
4 and 5 are somewhere close but I am working on the two and will surely get it done in 2015.
Apart from the "Big 5", I got to visit Bangalore twice and both the times it was just more fun than the last time. I made friends for life and I am too glad for that. Had some fun family time. In short, when everything seems to be hazy and you can't figure out life then just let it be. Go out and have as much as fun as you can.
cant stop laughing
posers
i kicked some popo
Yes ofcourse, I learned many things and had some weird experiences. Like learned the importance of fitness and developed a love for it too. Got my hands on writing and enjoying the process. Understood how brain of people work in Delhi and stopped taking things too seriously. Met some wonderful people and have decided to let go of some. Had tremendous fun with friends and loved ones. Somethings I felt was a sure shot win which I lost and some I still wonder how on earth was so easy. As I introspect the days went by, I can easily frame the whole story. Well it really was something unexpected. All most everything turned exact opposite of what I would have imagined and I am glad it did.
A friend recently asked what do you want to do in your life and the only response I could give was that I want to smile, laugh and be happy.
looking forward to the new year and still have to make BIG 5 list of 2015.
For now I would like to extend my warm wishes to all of you out there and hope that you all were also able to achieve what you had planned for last year. Let me know what was that.
I, crazy Pawar, take you, the playlist, to be my lawfully non wedded partner, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
Ok this is not a joke. I utterly and completely love these songs and they are my all time partners in life. These are just like how real partners are. You would not feel like talking to them everyday but at the same time you want them with you all the time. The moment someone praises them you are like wow to them and if they go little far like claiming them then ummm excuse me!
1)Jesus don't want me for a Sunbeam- Nirvana
The scene - Bangalore drizzling night, pg room, one big bed, dark room, playlist on with the song, Kurt cobain poster on wall and a girl lying on bed and staring at starts from the wide window, sky completely dark, dull moon and sky with stars. Oops did I almost forgot- Kurt Cobain's mesmerizing voice.
Jesus, don't want me for a sunbeam Sunbeams are never made like me Don't expect me to cry, For all the reasons you had to die Don't ever ask your love of me Don't expect me to cry Don't expect me to lie Don't expect me to die for me
2) Hey You - Pink Floyd
Well well, I specifically liked this song of Pink Floyd better than all other songs mainly due to the lyrics. And how can I forget the shrieking voice and bold rhythm.
Hey you out there on your own Sitting naked by the phone Would you touch me? Hey you with you ear against the wall Waiting for someone to call out Would you touch me? Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone? Open your heart, I'm coming home. But it was only fantasy. The wall was too high, As you can see. No matter how he tried, He could not break free. And the worms ate into his brain.
3) Rolling in the deep- Adele
Adele Adele Adele, I just love you. No matter how upset I am I can listen to her and feel good about myself and mylife. She is the bomb.
Baby, I have no story to be told But I've heard one on you And I'm gonna make your head burn Think of me in the depths of your despair Make a home down there As mine sure won't be shared The scars of your love remind me of us They keep me thinking that we almost had it all The scars of your love, they leave me breathless I can't help feeling We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You had my heart inside of your hand And you played it, to the beat We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You had my heart inside of your hand But you played it, with a beating
4) Where did you sleep last night - Nirvana
I remember a time when Mr Shukla was humming this song imperfectly but cutely in office and I joined the humming thinking, oh he praises my lover (kurt) but Mr Shukla had an audacity to tell me that "Hah, only memorized the first line....dodo did you listen to the songs everrrrr in your life" and I was like "dah.. do you even know whom you are talking to, The Biggest Kurt Cobain Fan In Amazon, the one who has all the information ever printed about him on line, who also keeps his suicide note with her and is in love with him even after his death. "Well ofcourse all the conversation was in my head but hey guess what I still remember that you pissed me of that day. LOL.. No offense though shuklaJi. I know you too love him but don't claim him. HE IS MINE. OK.
My girl, my girl, don't lie to me Tell me where did you sleep last night In the pines, in the pines Where the sun don't ever shine I would shiver the whole night through My girl, my girl, where will you go I'm going where the cold wind blows In the pines, in the pines Where the sun don't ever shine I would shiver the whole night through Her husband, was a hard working man Just about a mile from here His head was found in a driving wheel But his body never was found
5. Death and all his friends - Coldplay
Ofcourse my Lover is and will always be Nirvana but Coldplay and Pink Floyd have to be an extra marital affair. some how cant choose who is above who and I am not writing in a sexual way but actually in a sequential way. hahahaha. DORK.
All winter we got carried away Over on the rooftops, let's get married All summer we just hurried So come over, just be patient and don't worry So come over, just be patient and don't worry So come over, just be patient and don't worry And don't worry Try Try Try Try No, I don't want to battle from beginning to end I don't want to cycle of recycled revenge I don't want to follow death and all of his friends
6. Don't cry- Guns and Roses
I am not an ardent fan of guns and roses but that does not mean I dont have hots for slash.But whatever the reason is I utterly love this and sweet child o mine.
Give me a whisper And give me a sigh Give me a kiss before you tell me goodbye Don't you take it so hard now And please don't take it so bad I'll still be thinkin' of you And the times we had...baby And don't you cry tonight Don't you cry tonight Don't you cry tonight There's a heaven above you baby And don't you cry tonight And please remember that I never lied And please remember how I felt inside now honey You gotta make it your own way But you'll be alright now sugar You'll feel better tomorrow Come the morning light now baby
7. Nothing else matters- Metallica
Do I need to mention why on earth someone would like this song. you gotta be kidding me love.
So close no matter how far Couldn't be much more from the heart Forever trusting who we are And nothing else matters Never opened myself this way Life is ours, we live it our way All these words I don't just say And nothing else matters Trust I seek and I find in you Every day for us something new Open mind for a different view And nothing else matters Never cared for what they do Never cared for what they know But I know
8. Truly Madly deeply - Savage Garden
A perfect song for a romantic person like me, well sometimes .... I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope I'll be your love Be everything that you need I'll love you more with every breath Truly, madly, deeply do I will be strong I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on A new beginning A reason for living A deeper meaning, yeah
9.Hallelujah- Jeff Buckley
Thank you Bhojwani for introducing me to The OC and hence the song. What can I say, it will stay with me forever and ever and ever. Love this song.
Well I heard there was a secret chord
that David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this:
The fourth, the fifth,
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
10. Thousand Years
After all a girl. Even tomboyish girls can be dreamy at times. heart heart
“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” ― Oprah Winfrey
There is something special about the new year celebrations. Isn't it? Even if you are just a stay at home person on 31st night, you still can not avoid the festivities around you and if you happen to work in any of the MNC like I do then you are bound to hear party plans of people way before time. The parties and outings start right before Christmas and stays till the midnight of 31st December. There is something about this night and the moment when everyone shouts 10...9...8... ...3....2..1.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!
The happiness and excitement of entering into a new year somehow brings closure to the year just passed by. We tend to declare to ourselves to let bygones be bygones. Its a new slate altogether. A new year where the mistakes of last year is already forgotten. Yes we did take valuable lessons from them and now we are ready to commit some new and adventurous mistakes in coming year. But who cares about all these serious fundas at the moment of celebration. All we wanna do is groove to the dance numbers with friends, have romantic dinners with lovers or watch salman khan show on tele with family with order out food. No matter how the settings are, mostly we all are happy and exhilarated these times.
The facts mentioned above are actual but there is one more fact and that is about all those millions of people for whom the new year's night is yet another scary and painful night. I wonder how these people feel when they hear party goers shout happy new year at 1 AM on roads. Do they feel happy or blessed for being alive for another day? May be one of their children died of cold or hunger or epidemic but still other 3 are alive so surely they should and must rejoice.
I am talking about all those people who live on roads and if you happen to live in northern part of India then it is close to zero degree on 31st night and for all these people who are with their families, its just another agonizing night where each passing by second is making their blood freeze and they inching towards death. Each year we all hear about these people dying of heart failure due to extreme cold conditions and I am sure each one of us feels bad for them and I also know for fact that many people distribute blankets and food to many people and most of those people would sell their blankets for a bottle of rum and then we whine about our generosity being wasted on non deserving people.
But you know what, true philanthropy does not have to show in extreme ways. As per me and Oprah (I love to throw names :)) a person is either philanthropic or not. He can never develop this as an act of his. My dear friends, lets think of some new ways to help these children who die due to extreme weather conditions, scarcity of food and also those who die by scarcity of education. Ya that's pretty much called death of a child when he/she did not get to use his/ her potential in this life.
We all will be spending at least 5000 on New Years Celebration so lets just drink one less drink or eat simple pizza instead of cheese burst and buy some presents for these little ones. Give anything you feel like and you will see that they will be happy even if you give them somethings small like bread jam to eat or some warm clothes or some chocolates or some toys. They are kids too and surely deserve some play in life.
I would like to share a small incident which took place last week. I was coming back from Food World after purchasing the household things and on red light this sweet little girl came running asking for a rupee. Her family lives there on that red light and they look like nomads who beg for living. Her job is simple, go to each vehicle which stops at signal and ask 3-4 times for money and screen other rickshaws to see a evident giver and run to that vehicle then. She is used to few expressions like being ignored like she is not present and no one can even hear her or being shoed away when she tries to touch the person. But instead I asked her whats your name and to that she behaved just like how any other child would behave. She giggled and said aarti. She did not beg anymore from me and stood there as her act was over and she didn't know about any impromptu act. I gave her a chocolate which I had with me and just then my rickshaw started moving. I turned to see her reaction and she was showing that chocolate to her brother and pointing towards my rickshaw and when I waved at her, she and her brother both waved back joyously. It was so damn easy to bring smile to their faces. On that specific day I had been grumpy whole time due to some failure in my life but look at these kids, living on streets, eating minimal food, wearing slight warm clothes and still you give them one smile and they start smiling back at you.
Someone rightly said that smiles are infectious. So why shouldn't we do this. Don't they deserve a nice dinner on new years eve and a warm sleep. Its not much to do for someone and will surely not change their lives but haven't we heard that "something is better than nothing".
There are many stories and superstitions with the new years eve for example, my friends granny would always ask us to write the new year date as soon as the year starts and thus in hostel when every body was giving new year hug, this friend of mine was writing 01 Jan 2006. LOL. In the recent book which I read, Adultery, its written that as a part of new year celebration, the whole family stands on the sofa and puts feet together at exact moment as a mark of entering the new year. Some even have to lock lips during this moment so well there are all sorts of rituals. So why don't we make one more of such ritual for us which will stay with us till the day we die and will teach our coming generations. Choose your ritual, please lets do something for someone. :)
I will walk out of my house on 31st with food in my hand and I will be very happy if I will see you too there somewhere.
“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.”
― John Bunyan
I wish you and your family a very Happy New Year in advance.
We learned this formula in school and have been using it ever since then. Listen I am no mathematics geek to start writing a blog on the formulas. Its not like, hey there is nothing else to do so lets start a blog on algebra. It so happened that like always I was thinking about some random stuff and realized that the concept of distance and time is the thrust of our human relations.
Lets see how. Answer this to yourself that what do we all want at all times from life on emotional front and what is that one thing which is causing major issues in society? As per me that has to be RELATIONS...
Well, we are all social animals and are desperate for company of other such animals. We want our families, friends, colleagues, neighbors, dogs, cats and even enemies with us. We love the feeling of having someone to care for and having someone who cares for us. Often times we end up giving ourselves completely in relationships with others. There is absolutely nothing we do not try in order to make this work with those special people in our lives. The variation and frequency of relations do differ and we eventually know how much salt is needed in which curry.
But then this same bonding and kinship has caused us worries and complications and pain in the past. If we look closely then we can see that relations are actually a melting pot where we meet different kinds of people and form varied relations in line with the equation of distance and time. Some of these people walk with us for a very long time whereas others leave us on a difficult turn only after a short while. Some are there to mentor us until we find a goal whereas some others are teaching something from a distance. Wouldn't it be easy if we knew from beginning who is there to stay and who is there to walk away? Well, no. That is the whole point of this equation. We need to and ought to learn a lot of diverse and difficult things in life and the method is simple.
According to me, Ms Know-it-all relations are of three types as in the equation is of three types in life.
1) Less Distance and Longer Time (Td): For as long as we could remember these people were associated with us. They are closer to us and always remain like that. They are here to help us and support us and shout at us when we screw up in life. These are those guarded angels who were assigned a job to take care of us just like how we are taking care of someone else and are guarded angel for them. They are going to walk with us for a very long time.
2) Less Distance and Less Time (dt): Often times we get close to somebody at the first meet. Its like we were meant to meet them and more so often this bond comes to life when we are in utter need of something to hold on to. (I have my personal experience to prove it and I am sure you will have that too). Didn't it happen with you that you met someone and you just knew that you could open up that closed file and get some answers. These walk into our life with a small but important task to help us in some crisis or to provide that much needed support and encouragement. The moment their job is done they leave your sight. Think about it. Even you would have given that encouragement to some one at some point and no matter how well you connected with that person you did leave their sight after a while.
3) Long Distance and Less or More Time (DtT): There are people in life who are there everywhere and from time to time they teach you something about yourself. Imagine that day when you saw your colleague picking up a fight with someone else and you understood that you would not and should not do this yourself. There are countless examples of DtT in our lives. They are everywhere and are helping us grow with each passing second. These are the most important people and mostly the neglected ones.
Apply the formula in each relation and see what can it teach you.
I feel the equation is pretty simple. May be coz I used to love mathematics as a child but if you look closely then you will be able to see the importance of each one of the person around you in your life. Every one is meant to walk a certain path with us with a simple calculation of the distance which is the level of closeness and the time for which they will be with us and this will definitely leave us more enriched and fulfilled in a longer run. As no one is really good or bad in life. They all are just doing their job.
Imagine if that boyfriend would not have ditched us then how on earth we would have understood we have that much strength in us to move on in life. If that teacher would not have flunked us in exam then how we would have learned so much. If we would have had a perfect family then we would not be grounded now. These are important aspects of life and are not that important anyways. We should just let it all go. I feel we must realize now that the only relationship more important than the one we are living with are the relationship we have with ourselves and hence we must not leave any opportunity in life which get us more closer to out potentials. Have you realized that all those difficult tie-ups brought us face to face with our strengths and weaknesses. We realized that we do hold such great and diverse characteristics also. Yes we were hurt and yes we were dejected but that is all ok now. Isn't it? We don't grumble about that now, do we. Instead we might give that a laugh or two.
So, see possibilities of something enriching in a breakup next time. Remember that the journey is supposed to end here with that person and hence the results of equation should be worked upon now.
Things will get much simpler if we start taking everyone around us as a teacher in disguise. After all, all that should matter is that we all have one person who is the closest as a soul and stays with us forever and that person is no one else but "US".
So start loving yourself more. Spend quality time with yourself and fall in love with your company.Be the craziest person you would ever meet. Have fun with your life as the only person who will sit with you on that sunny beach with a book will be you. Don't be too hard on yourself as remember that whenever someone leaves your side then you have a formula handy to figure out what results you are meant to get with that equation.
from floridabeach rehab website from google image search.
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.
“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” ― Helen Keller
Don't we just love watching episodes of FRIENDS again and again. This genre has helped the entertainment industry earn millions of bucks in the last decades. From "FRIENDS" to "How I Met Your Mother" to "Big Bang Theory" to even "2 Broke Girls", people have enjoyed it all.
These sitcoms have beautifully captured that one relationship which helps us grow into the person we are today. It is that same relation which helps us recover from fall outs of life and also it is the very same one on which we are not dependent, well mostly.
Think about it. If a love relationship is broken then both of you lovers are devastated. For days you will not know how to take care of yourself as you were so consumed into that romantic feeling with someone else and now as that person no more holds ground in your life you feel ruined. But this definitely does not happen with friendship. Two friends grow up together in the same society and are best buddies but as they become adults they move away and fail to stay in touch or that group of friends who was your life seems at a distance after all of you have found partners in life. You do keep in touch for special occasions though like birthdays and anniversaries but even if this contact looses then it definitely does not qualify for those heartbreaking tears which you will have in other "so called important relations" in your life.
Why do we do that? Why don't we give the same amount of respect and importance to friendship today? Why are we so darn busy being busy?
On day do day life we hear people talking about how important their girlfriend or boyfriends (lover) are and how they are ditching that date with a friend to go meet a lover. It is easy and comforting to take this decision as the only job of a friend is to "UNDERSTAND".
People aren't you missing out on life by keeping your friends away? Think about it, there were days when you walked miles with them sharing those secrets you never dared to share with anyone. You nursed them when they had viral and they did the same to you when you were dumped. They were the only ones who told you at all times how talented you are even when you parents could not see that talent through a microscope. They were the ones who would pick up your phone at 3 AM and only after customary 2 shouts they would listen to your heartbreaking stories and will even give you sincere advice in deep sleep.
If you have these kind of friends in your life then you ought to keep that relationship safe. Please start giving them more importance than you already give. Imagine how life would have been without them. You would never have understood how beautiful or talented or amazing person you are if they would never have told you at first place. Imagine how those nights would have been if they were not at the other end of receiver after your life had a major misshaping.
Are there friends in your life who were there at all times and you got pissed with them over something tiny (mostly an expectation)? If yes then pick up that darn phone and call them right away. I am gonna do that now!
This is one relation where you don't need much sugary words. All you need is a want to make it up to them and only a smiling voice. This is the only relationship which comes with no frills attached. Lets call our nice and boon companions now and feel happy about life.
