Dead Hearts Are Everywhere!

Like Crazy.

Have you seen this movie? No? Then please DON'T but actually please watch. It will break your heart but I guess you already are broken. No? Well, I guess then you are one lucky kid of the Devil. No? Then please watch. I want you to feel it. I want you to miss it. I also want you to believe in it.

I certainly should not have seen it. It was me, in tits and bits, my life, broken, shattered, disoriented, delusioned, betrayal, love, desire, wait, it was me but still it wasn't. I cant tell you the story if you have not seen this as I just can't. There was nothing glamorous in the story but yes it was glamorous. The saddest part was that I was there at all the disappointing parts of the film and never once I saw myself at the happy place. It makes me sad that no one ever came back for me. Did they come back for you? Well, didn't I tell you earlier only you bloody kid of the Devil. 

But I know you also would have felt it at some point in your life. May be not like me as you would never have loved like me but again as they say people like me are a real rare species. You can't snatch that from me. Being rare.

This blog is not needed. Not at all. This should go into my diary and not in a public forum but already made a decision to fill my diary with ONLY gratitude so oopsy no place for unhappiness there. But mostly I want to drag this disappointment from my heart and actually peel of the pain and write it here for the space to accept it. I don't need this anymore. There should be no space left for the grudge of accepting love when I knew it was gone. I shouldn't have but then how else I would have learned to let go. Yup I did not get the euphoria feeling which you get when that person comes back begging for you to accept them and you feel that happiness of being wanted again but it was all for good at the end. This is how I had to learn.

This is how we all learn. Isn't it? We fall in love, we plan endlessly of love and then we get it but somehow love never seems to be enough for long. What if you are one of those lucky ones who actually get that so called "True Love" in their lives? Will you keep your faith strong when time throws a hard ball at you? Please I beg of you. Keep Faith in your love. Its really rare for someone to get it. Please VALUE it. You can still earn a lot of money and travel the world, meet thousands of new people, buy that house but if that one person who is sitting by your side is what you ever wanted then keep that on priority. 

You know what is plague? A friend today was talking about a rat which had found its way into his house and I kept thinking of this word "plague" at that time but this was just not popping up in my head and see here it is. While writing it just presented it self like a glory as if it had a glory to it but I guess it is very very glorious word. It is capable of killing the person within a short time span and that is scary. Before you knew it you are gone. 

Why did I write about this sick infection? Well I think "taking each other for granted" is the plague of a perfect relationship. Think about it? You wanted each other real badly and you got what you wanted but now things have changed its perspectives. Its like all of a sudden a lot of other things are of a lot of importance. Stop there. Please. If you won't stop and rather decide to continue the way you are going by taking each other for granted then this sick disease will find its way in to each and every cell of your love. First it will eat the desire for each other then slowly and steadily it will work its way upwards to the nitty gritty of your relationship.

You will find excuses to move away but still you will play smart and will move only to a near distance so that when the love or guilt of leaving love arises then you can easily come back but will it be same again? No. It won't be.

I know that look in their eyes. I can feel it. Its Gone. They know it but they want to hang in and find the fragments of it hanging loosely from edges.

No matter how closely you will look into each others eyes you will just not see that thing again which was there when you fell in love. It will be in fragments here and there and somehow you will not be able to put it back together. No matter how nice you behave with one another you will know what is missing and it will always be missing as you have spoiled it. You spoiled the broth as there were too many cooks. You are getting my point. Aren't you?  If you are like me then you will think of the time when you first met and you will see yourself in mirror and try and find the changes in the ways you look and change them back as you want it back at any cost. You will even find ways to make things look attractive but will it ever look attractive when the essence is gone? Stop fooling yourself. If you are me then you will still hang in there and wait. Patiently. Its funny that people always told me I am impatient and see how much patience I showed. I am really not proud for once on my patience but maybe I am. I am proud to hang in until I could find the strength to kill it, burn it and destroy it. But it was already dead. I was trying hard to get rid of it when it was gone long back. How stupid I have been. You please don't be like me. 

But I do hope that like me you will find faith again. Its there around it. It always was there and was waiting for you to give it some attention. Now that you have found it, hold on to it. Love will find its way back into your life. It will. I promise you. It will. Do not think that its too late for love to happen as it is not bound by age. It never was and it never will. You might be 50 and but still fresh in love so hang in there my friend. Snatch away that sorrow and throw it in space like I did and feel empty again as once you are empty and ready to receive love again it will come in abundance. But you need to do the work as they rightly say that there are no free lunches available. Yes moving on from dejection to acceptance takes a lot of work. 

If you need any help then let me know. I can share what I did with myself and how I found that space for universe in my life again. 

An unfamiliar but yet familiar walk!

Image from alfa-img.com

Today she decided to walk to her home after work instead of taking a rikshaw as she felt like feeling the pain of her exhausted legs for some more time. There was something in the air today, something which was silent yet speaking in louder voices to her. No matter how tired and exhausted she was today she had to discover the inner most voice and to listen to that she had to give it some peace, some solace and some breeze. 

Hence she started walking down the unusual lane to her home after she got down from the train. The route she took was dark as always and on normal evenings the road is dingy and scary but today there was something pure in her heart that the same road looked mesmerizing. She walked slowly, slower than a turtle and felt soft cold breeze blowing on her face, moving her hair away from body and making her scarf fly with graze in air. She might have looked normal to a passers by but she felt grand like some old era actress whose silk scarf is flowing gloriously in the air when she is walking under a delusory black-blue sky. 

Her ears were stuffed with earpieces and somehow the playlist was playing the apt songs for the moment. While listening to "Bon Jovi's I'll be there for you" she felt as though life was pretty, things were smooth and uncertainty was beautiful but suddenly a sense of DejaVu clenched her feet and reduced the slower speed and it spoke loudly - "you were here at the same road with same breeze and same song sometime back but with deep pain in heart". It was real and she felt "no, this cant be DejaVu as it feels like yesterday" and turns out it was an actual thing which happened sometime back.

That night when she was walking back from work from this same road she felt rage for life. In a fit of pique she had left him at the station and had decided to walk back home instead of taking the rikshaw. She could not understand why again she let that happen to herself? But the moment she met that dark and unlit road to home the anger reduced to sorrow. She wanted him to come behind her and ask her apology for behaving the way he had behaved but the more father she walked, the less dominant that thought became. The road was dark which was lit by only few streetlights and big vibrant moon, the breeze was soft, people were in their houses keeping the road empty for her grand walk from misery to contentment.  This is exactly what had happened. The breeze, the song, the aroma and the whole scene made her realize how blessed she was and the pain she was receiving was created by her own and she could stop it if she wanted to.

Funny thing had happened at the same moment when she decided to call it quits with pain - he called and asked sorry in indirect and unsympathetic ways like "you know what I was thinking that may be I said too much.. oh well , lets talk later since I am kind of busy right now."

But today, it was something else, there was someone else and the feeling was of not pain but the opposite of pain. But she knew that this is also self created and she should not let this envelop her entire phenomenon of self. So she decided to call it quits with that euphoric feeling of falling for someone and decided to simply enjoy the music, the breeze, the night and the walk.

A love song: Wont you wait for me?

Wont you wait for me babe?

Image from lo-Favim.com

I know you want to kiss me.

I know you wish to snuggle and drift to sleep with me.

And I want that too honey.

You know that don't you?

But that may not happen right away.

As I forgot how to snuggle and sleep in a love way.

So wont you wait for me babe?

I know you are nothing like him.

I know you would hold me like you meant it.

And I want that too honey.

You know that don't you?

But I cried and slept for long waiting for that shoulder to come along.

And I got used to my ways.

But please don't get me wrong babe.

I want to snuggle and feel you beside me.

I want to fall asleep in the nook.

I want to be in your aroma for nights and days dear.

Yes I want that honey.

You know that don't you?

But wont you wait for me babe?

I know you want to kiss me on the back of my neck with first morning rays.

I know you want to hug me tight when you had a bad day.

And I want that too honey.

You know that don't you?

But I waited too long for someone like you.

And I told myself that I wont ever get someone like you.

Look how funny the life had become.

I met you and not someone like you.

I want to be there at every step with you.

I want to be with you while pancaking.

I want to dance away my fears with you.

I want to kiss you goodbye every morning.

And hug you tight in evening when we meet exhausted after working.

Yes I want that honey.

You know that don't you?

I know you want to ride mountain bikes with me.

I know you want to make love to me under stars.

I know you want to walk on beach with me.

And I want that too honey.

You know that don't you?

But I have walked alone for a long now.

Long enough to forget how it feels to hold a hand.

I told myself that its me who love me now.

And not someone else.

Yes I know you want me to love you back.

I know you want me in every song of love.

And I want that too honey.

You know that don't you?

So wont you wait for me?

Please wait for me.

What is the right way to end an email?

Today while signing off an email I was wondering the same old thing. What to write while signing off?

Ya I know who writes personal emails these days. I mean for official purpose, you can always end the email by saying "Thanks & Regards". I do that every day of my office life and infact we all make our signatures beforehand and thus this gives us no freedom to experiment with official emails.

But unfortunately some of are still hooked to the long and detailed conversations of personal letters and emails and this includes me as well. 

Now, how do you sign off in a personal email so that it gives the warmth of your feelings to the receiver and also it does not indicate too much of an emotion. Hmmm, tricky isn't it? The thing is you can not write the same words every-time as that would make the personal email writing also monotonous and borrrrring.  So what should we do?

I write sometimes - Talk to you soon,  bye , TaTa , hugs, XOXO and Yours sheetal. Now all of these actually depicts different emotions but none of them gives away the true feelings I would want to give. For example, I cant write everytime "hugs" even though thats what I would want to do mostly before actually seeing off the person. But in letters it might take the life of a clingy women (maybe).  Now see bye and TaTa are only used because I dont know what to use. These are not what I wish to say to a close friend.

A friend mostly writes "Big Hug" and that makes me feel soooo good. I mean this is what happens in real life. right?

We say bye and then give tight hug to each other and I might utter words like "I will miss you, Lets meet soon again, Bitch you should call me every day or dont go". giggles. But in emails if I write all these then they might not feel the same way as these friends might be living in different continents and there is a faint possibility that I will see them any time sooner in life. 

If I write "miss you" then yeah that makes sense.

"yours" ok for a very close friend but maybe it might be one step ahead of being a friend. Right? What if that person is not on the same page as you are on? Scary thought. But I guess mostly I can write "Yours sheetal". I mean why not?

But I wish I could write "Lots of love", "lots of hugs and kisses", "Miss you big time", "Miss me",  and  some more of these true true true emotions. 

huuuuuuh

So tell me how can I write a best sign offs in emails?

Shopping for Love Games!

Hola buyers,

Since you paid a visit to this very special blog of mine I am assuming that you are in the mood of browsing the "Love Games" section and I welcome you to this Wacky store of wicked gamesssss.

So here we go. 

Category : Love Games! (wow what a catchy name, I think I should start a business as it will surely attract lot of upcoming lovers )

Item 1 - Three day Rule

Description- You met someone somewhere and you have been itching to ask them out or you have been on a date and as soon as you come back home you want to call them then DON'T. 

How to use it - Simple. Just dangle the carrot and all you have to do is wait. Its very simple as you have to only wait for three days and make that person think you are super awesome and do not have time to call them after an amazing date.

Effect- This will make your date woo for you in desperation.

Clause- Buy it before s/he does or else then it will be a game of "who-will-give-up-first" and call first. Uh oh you do not want that. Do you?

Item 2- Be Available

Description- Let him/her know that you are their Go-To person for everything. Yeah really everything. 

How to use it- Be there for him/her. Examples- Oh My God he sounds sick on call? don't worry I am here. On no she had a fight with her coworker? I am coming. That should be your attitude. Are we ok?

Effect- This will make them choose you over another loony bin when they come to the stage of choosing as you have been there for them when they didn't need you. 

Clause- Girls if your sanitary napkins are over then please go buy them yourself and don't call him. See there is a thin line............... NO? read again.

Item 3- Don't be too available.

Description- Don't make them take you for granted.

How to use it- You are seeing that s/he calls you every day on same time and you are kind of bored of it then follow subtle ways and say - "Oh babe I am going out with friends today", "I have laundry to take care of", "I want my me time and its time you go find your Fu**ing Me Time and give me space".

Effect- Your person will miss you and will know that you are not gonna stay around if they call you everyday and take care of you in more than necessary ways. Got it?

Clause- Don't overdo it or else they might find someone else in their ME TIME. Ha ha ha ha and you thought you had it all?

Item 4 - Jealousy.

Description- This one is a deal breaker. Use this product and you will know for sure if s/he is the one for you.

How to use it- Talk about how your new coworker is driving you crazy in other sense and see the reaction in your partner's eyes. Yeah they change. One website states that the color of skin around eyes might change too but ofcouse that will only happen if you are dating a Greek God or a Cleopatra.  But still don't give up. See the jealousy in his/her eyes. Its there. Right there.

Effect- You will know that s/he is for keeps as they are just hiding their feelings towards you when in reality they get jealous when you talk about someone else.

Clause- Well, s/he might break up with you thinking you are flirty. OOPSY.

Item 5- Reverse Psychology.

Description- Tell the person exact opposite of what you are thinking or planning. Quirky.

How to use it- Say exact opposite of truth. You want him? say you don't. You want to kiss her? Act like you don't. You want him to follow you? Stop following him.

Effect- This will drive them insane and they would be willing to jump up the ladder and take the challenge and win you over. 

Clause- Try at your own risk. She might just choose some one else if you make her wait too long or he might not follow you at all if you keep on showing disinterest.

God only knows who follows it...

Item 6 -Digital Detrox

Description -You got him. You kissed her. Now what? Unfriend them from facebook.

How to use it- To start with some interesting study shows that couple who are not friends on Facebook remain lovers for longer time. Obvio, you won't know what they are up to and hence they end up using their ME SPACE.

Effect- They will miss you. When the last thing you have to worry about is hiding your posts from them and placing an approval request before someone can post on your webpage then you will actually miss her/him. They are not virtually available with you so you will be actually available with them.

Clause- Its your life man. Do not let me influence ya. oh hell - its too late is it?

Item 7- Holidating

Description- Date without commitment. 

How to use it- Well, should I explain this also? But of course I do since you needed all the above lessons also. Ok so here we go. Basically what you have to do is date them but avoid the intimacy.

Effect- You will not have expectation or SEXpectations out of the relationship and voila. You both can still run errands and still be single- ready to mingle.

Clause- Get a date fixed with physiologist. You need it my friend.

Item 8- Ghosting 

Description- The love trap has not been working out for you now with this chick or bloke then try this interesting but important product "Ghosting".

How to use it - Simply read through their Facebook but refrain from liking any of their posts or stop commenting all together. It is 100% sure that s/he will be abusing you online on their FB page with indirect taunts but all you have or do is become a GHOST and disappear slowly. 

Effect- This way you can still be friends with them on Facebook and avoid the hassle of unfriending a crush when it has crushed your fascinations. You can totally avoid being a jerk or bitch and just appear-- you know-- BUSY. he ha ha ha. No questions asked or told and the work of avoiding is done.

How to place an order- Don't call me. I do not sell these stupid items but you have shown a lot of interest in these crazy products so Hi Five for you. Yeeee

Once you find time from all these then start real life. We humans were not been created to play game of love and have dating rules. We were simple. We knew how to pursue someone we liked. But with ages and new fascinating theories we complicated everything. If he is calling me too much then he is clingy. If he is not calling me then he is playing games. Why cant we accept that he might not be interested in us? Well I agree that it surely is not happy thing to find out then who is stopping you from calling him? Go do it man and see how it goes.

Well not that I am an expert of love or dating life. In fact I am far from being an expert in this field but I know that if I like someone then that's it.. I wont play games and if he is playing those then also that's it-- its not gonna work. So its simple. Isn't it?  I urge you to not fall in the rut of "who is calling first", "s/he is too clingy so I get scared", "I don't want them to know that I read their facebook page everyday and wait for a new update but I wont like them as that will make me look desperate".

Uffffffff. 

image from- www.makeyourbestself.com

Stop all this nonsene. Go out there. Run in harmony with him/her. Go crazy. Go nuts. Climb trees. Sleep on beaches. Graze stars. Well Fall in love. Its time.

#happy60ing

Some one rightly said that Happiness spreads like wild fire and I have been lucky enough to have witnessed it in our Happy60ing meetup.

An idea which took birth after looking at my dear mothers empty eyes has finally come to life. All I ever wanted was to give her and many mothers and fathers like my parents a platform to cherish the lost art of creativity, fun and childhood. May be I did not pay too much attention to the thought that what if I fail? What if no one will come for my meetups? Yes there were couple of hiccups but then my long sleepless nights made it sure that I had to do this irrespective of the time crunch and other liabilities and I just started and its true that when you really want something to happen in your life then the whole universe comes to help you and help is what I received in hundred folds. Friends, sibling, artists and many veterans in the field provided me with all the support and guidance which I needed. I would like to thank all of them and tell them that I am immensely happy that Happy60ing is now an active group.

Yes, it has just started and there are many more milestones I would want to touch with this group.

My eyes are longing for the day when all the parents and elderly people smile in relief, when there are zero cases of Alzheimer and when spoting an elderly person in any creative pursuits will become a common affair.

The second meetup of Happy60ing was a big success where there were smiles on every faces and love in all eyes. Where everyone was playing like a child and happy like a monk. Here are some pictures of the event.

Few comments from the humble lot of people who attended the event-

Avinash - Very good meetup.  Four and half hours just flew. Thoroughly enjoyed the meetup. It was nice meeting and mingling with new members.

Anil Bahl- We really enjoyed. Very well organized. Thanks to all the participants.

Rita- Thanks to all the wonderful people for making this picnic enjoyable.

Veena Vig- Really enjoyed 4-5 hours. Well organised &thanks to all my friends & specially sheetal.

Rajiv Malik- Thanks for a lovely afternoon sheetal and Avinash ji. Beautiful ambiance. Full on entertainment. Delicious food and a very nice company. Indeed a perfectly organized event. Congrats!!

For more pictures please do visit the Facebook Page. click here - https://www.facebook.com/Happy60ing/

Follow on Instagram, fictonistpawar

use hashtag #happy60ing

Become a member and spread the word. Afterall we all want the same thing- see our parents and those elderly who do not have anyone's support happy.

Spread the Happiness @ Happy60ing.

9 things you learn in your 30's.

Image source-www.mythirtyspot.com

Turning 30 can be a tad bit scary when you are in that danger zone of late 20's and you have been reckless, crazy and sort of pop head throughout your 20's.

But as you advance towards your late 20s all of a sudden everyone around starts to give you life lessons. In fact, you yourself might feel a bit obligated now to make it big in life before you reach that 3-0 zone and quite possibly now your folks have started telling more than ever to be serious about your life. 

However, once you will actually start living your 30's the life will look much simpler. It’s the magic number for change in prospective. How? Let us see.

1.     Making big bucks is no more the only motto in your career- All this while you were worried about making your career and earning better than bigger. But in your 30's you start to question yourself the reason behind all the Jazz around this big money making drama. Now the career is not only linked with money but with a deep passion for wanting to do something bigger, achieve something more and be a better person than you were in your 20's. You realize that there is more to life and that not all things require a lot of money. In totality you will get a fair idea about your path in life.                                                                                                                                                   

2.     Love is mostly volatile- You have always been that person who had his/her heart on sleeves and have always fallen hard in love. Now, you will get sort of enlightenment that there is nothing more volatile than the feeling of being with someone. You will get a much better clarity of what you are seeking for in life rather than being romantically filmy and waiting for the prince charming or that Cinderella in that Starbucks cafe you often visit. Mostly, now you will have guts to move out of something which is not making sense anymore.                                                                                                                         

3.     Fear is overrated- Do you remember how many things you were scared of in your early college days? God only knows how many- cockroaches, rats, spiders, falling from a bike, elder siblings, society norms, tantrum of friends, losing in life, a new pimple, breakup and other bullshits. Somehow now, once you reach your 30's you will feel that it’s okay to have certain fears but they are not that big a deal anyways. You know that the cockroach will not take a life like that of the Harry potter cockroach and take you but instead you know that it’s just a fear and well yeah!                                                                                                                                               

4.     Time is a precious gem- You know now that life moves at a faster pace than one thinks and that it belongs to no one hence somehow bungee jumping comes in your bucket list even when you actually have fear of heights. Now, you start enjoying your own company more than ever as someone rightly said that "there is nothing more freeing and empowering than learning to love your own company" When life moves at such faster pace than you actually understand the point that rather than waiting for the perfect partner lets enjoy the film and movie with our own company.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

5.     Keep real friends close- You were the charm of a big group of 50 people in college, you loved when everyone laughed at your jokes and when they seemed enchanted by your charms. You loved showing off your skills to your "so-called" friends and suitors but somehow now you feel like spending time with your close and real buddies rather than everyone who just think you are a best orator or a rugged biker and don't really know the deep aspects about you. Now, you will understand that friendship is the most important and valuable gift one can give themselves and you will actually nurture the relations which are deeply connected to you.                      

                

6.     Saving money is nobleness- Warren Buffet once said "Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving" and now you get it. All the party hopping, lavish dinners, endless online shopping, long beauty spa and everything which you enjoyed in your late 20s will now look unimportant to you. Since now you have a living dream in your conscious mind and that is why you very well understand what money stands for. You can never spend too much and have too much in return.                                                                       

     It’s true that money can't buy you everything but if you have to choose between snorkeling in Spain and many cocktail parties then what would you choose?       
                                                         

7.     Worst is best- You failed at one more thing. So what? It is all okay now. More or less you will now be able to connect the dots of your life till date. How did you reach here? What mistake made you take that certain path which later on got you to somewhere important? It all will somehow make sense to you. So you will know that when the time is worst then that is the exact time which will bring you closer to your dreams.                      

                                                

8.      Sex, a taboo? No more- It does not matter how you were in your 20's- A reckless lover or a serious relationship hopper? Now you will know that SEX is just SEX and not something fancy related to the fairy tale love bond. You will now have clarity of what you want in your life and why are you dating the person you are dating and let’s just not give this word any more importance that it needs. Let’s just get over this overrated word and live a real life.    

                                               

9. Health is wealth- Ok, so all you women might be daunted by the so called "early signs of ageing" or the men might be scared of the fear of hair fall but once you turn 30 but you will actually feel more energetic, more in control of your emotions and your life.  Most importantly you will know that the thing which we just cannot take for granted is our health. It is a life cycle and a way of nature so why waste time in fighting against it but rather we will start working with it. You might want to give a thought on that habit of smoking and over boozing.