oops I don't remember anything!

A posh hotel room, girl half naked covered in a white quilt with a question mark expression on her face and a guy with breakfast tray in his hands and look that he was smitten by her last night. And the famous question was asked my girl- KAL RAAT KYA HUA?

Girl was too drunk last night to remember what happened between the two of them. She remembers getting drunk but has no memory whatsoever of making out passionately with the young lad. well, this was the famous story of Simran and Raj in DDLJ and nothing actually happened and Raj was only making fun of her only to fall in love with her later BUT there are enormous number of scenes in Bollywood movies where a guy gets drunk and wakes up next morning with a story unknown to him.

My question is : Do people really don't remember a thing after they get drunk? Ok, I can assume that they don't remember dancing on a trashy number in front of public, or speaking louder than their usual decent tones or even falling down on streets but can they really forget something of romantic sorts?

If that is so then I am sure these rapists don't remember a thing as they all are pretty much drunk at all times. And all these men who dance at weddings after they are drunk and pass lewd comments at girls think next morning that they were sober at the wedding.

I guess Bollywood should immediately stop showcasing these scenes which allows a normal decent guy to wear a cloak of invisibility when he is drunk and gives access to an opportunity where he can kiss and forget.

Why worry while alive

" Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle"

-plato

The usual Sunday night and while browsing the usual channels, I chanced upon my all time crush "Mel Gibson" and it was one of his cutest movies "What Women Want". I remember watching this movie as a child and was intrigued with the idea of reading minds of other people (wicked).

In case some one has not seen the movie then brief is here -

Mel Gibson, a typical MCP and at a high post in advertising, hits on a weird road in life when he accidentally start hearing all the thoughts of women in and around him, ranging from gardener, house maid, boss to his own daughter only to find out that he is being disliked by the majority of women. The man then decides to use this for benefit only to understand at end the pain and worries of women and finally he succumb to the goodness and becomes a "good guy".

The movie was funny and all I took from the film was the ability to read minds. However, I just felt that there was another take-away from the film which I completely missed and that was the fact that we all think too much. I am not talking about only we as in "women" here. We all as a species started using the power of brain to our benefit and discovered the word "multitasking" only to get trapped in the thick walls of unnecessary thoughts.

I wonder if we were always like this or was there an apocalypse of calm living. Mostly as per whatever I have read I feel that humans were always in the process of  90% thinking + 5% analyzing + 5% contemplating. We were happy as a species and more and vast knowledge slowly made us scared species. We are always scared and worried and the fears are almost the same -

"what if dad will get to know about my exam results", "what if she/ he will like someone else in school", "I can not live without him/her", "I need good grades", "what if I will loose him/ her","what if I wont get a good job", "what if I won't get hike", "What if my child is in danger", "what if my insurance will not cover my family" in short WHAT THE HELL.

I am sure you would have noticed at one point or other the face of random people walking on streets. Haven't you? Then please do it. It will showcase the perfect today man to you. They all are day dreaming, thinking, worrying and are in short, stressed. But why? Are we really that stressed of a generation?

Aren't we listening each day about some or other celebrity suffering from either Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety attacks or Post traumatic stress disorder.  I am no subject matter expert here but as a human I do feel sad looking at my favorite actor's sufferings. These things are serious and yes traumatic for the person suffering from this and their families too. How can we forget the shocking news of celebrities who have all facilities in the world but still go through sufferings like Selena Gomez or Catherine Zeta Jones. So this basically means money can really not solve STRESS.

Instead of gagging the topic lets go straight to the findings. Do you know according to research a human brain can think limited number of thoughts at a time? To be precise, its normally 4 thoughts at a time and what are we doing then with ourselves?

Ya I know we all need to think and plan about lot of things but are we really planning? Well as per me , NO. We are either brooding about that fight with our partner or sulking about not responding to the boss or ruminating about an ongoing family issue and these all things are sapping us from all the good energy which we can use for some happy and fulfilling activity in that day. Yes ofcourse there are major problems in life but the answer is clear in the quote by shantideva "If you can solve you problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you can not solve it, then what is the use of worrying?"

I learned in my Art of Living course, the magic of being in the moment.  Its a well known fact but we give less admiration to this. We human beings are either living in the past or hopping to the future and are hardly thinking about present. Even if we are thinking about present, its actually more of a future plan like if I complete this file today then I will be able to get my work completed before weekend and then I can easily go out for a movie. This is not being in the present and now you will ask why? well, present moment is "THIS". Right here at this very moment when you are reading the words is your present moment. Are you absorbed completely in the reading or you are already making second plans in head? This moment will never come back and it passes you by in a fraction of seconds, in a snap of your fingers. HOLD THIS THOUGHT HERE AND STAY WITH IT FOR A WHILE. SEE HOW MANY SUCH MOMENTS YOU MISSED UNATTENDED.

In my personal experience if you focus and when your brain shuts the multitasking mode and is in present then in reality the world looks brighter and happier. I am not boasting this. Please go ahead and see it for yourself. Really stop the thinking process and be aware of each moment passing you by. yes, there is it, the calm and beautiful you.

Give it a thought.

If its tough then do it like a meditation for 1 minutes after every 1 hour.

If you still can not get to the understanding of "present moment" then I will give a very simple trick. Listen to Pharrell Williams songs "Happy" and see how you instantly feel at the moment you listen to the lyrics and the music. That is exactly what you need to do without music. Is it difficult? well you deserve to see the brighter life and hence its worth a try.

Happy Living.


...................................................................................................................................................................
The references were from -
http://www.informationweek.com/humans-can-only-think-about-four-things-at-once-study-says/d/d-id/1063868?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2329492/Catherine-Zeta-Jones-gets-normality-leaving-rehab-following-month-long-treatment-bipolar-disorder.html

You mights also like reading -
http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20669377_4,00.html

http://loveandlifetoolbox.com/being-in-the-moment-and-why-it-matters/

Dark Pleasure

Relax. Its not some spooky blog!

“I love the silent hour of night,

For blissful dreams may then arise,

Revealing to my charmed sight

What may not bless my waking eyes.” 

― Anne Brontë, Best Poems of the Brontë Sisters

My previous blog post made me wonder why I love watching night scenes in movies... mind it... not scary, bloody and terrifying scenes but rather nice and normal beautiful depiction set in the nightly sky and then I recollected how we all used to love sitting under start gazed sky till midnight on our hostel terrace and how we all continued this practice in Jaipur flat and then Bangalore flat. I think all of our secret and soulful discussions were at that time with a warm cup of coffee. I decided to google about it and found some amazing results ranging from people suffering from various disorders to having dark triad. Well I beg to differ with the results as I specifically don't remember planning and plotting evil things in night but always those times were filled with love, laughter, music and joy and most often imaginations and dreams.

But ofcourse I do agree that some psychopaths use night as tool to hide their triad from others and people often get carried away in taking wrong decisions and thus I made my own assumption over this very fact of being a "night lover". Ok well so to start with you can be a day person like me and be a night lover at the same time. See you don't have to perform love every day right? Keep the night love alive for special occasions.

What is it about night and darkness? Yes it can be depressing as you logically can't see clearly like you can in day light and one depressing thought can travel a long length due to this very fact. But at the same time, isn't night comforting also. It can be one of those times when a silent and sleeping desire gets its wings which is many times not plausible in day time.

Fact is that one strong thought or feeling can stay for a longer time in darkness and if this is a happier thought then whats better than that? There is a very simple reason behind it and that is your guards are down at that time and there is shush around you and so what you would most likely do? Contemplate your feelings or roll with it? I guess the second choice will win the battle.

Arent people more creative and dreamy in darkness and I guess apart from the obvious scientific reason of frontal cortex advising you to shushing the day and other part of brain then taking control to burn the fuel of creativity instead, I feel the common reason would be that "no one is watching" or "no one will disturb the process".

Ya people are creative at such times and often times the weird dreams which will shy away in daylight will comes to life in those moments for all of us. Isn't it right? Well it stays until the logical brain intervene and starts contemplating and tells us how stupid and audacious we were at those moments.

I think media including novels and movies has caught this amazing love of people and for years have depicted beautiful scenes in night. Yes ofcourse there are a major chunk of scenes depicting the usual "act of love" so we would rather no go there. Some of the picturization I just loved are -

Barfi Movie song- is dil ka kya karu 

The song sequence is just amazing. Hush melody, starry night, clean washed hill roads, quiet world and out of no where Ranbeer on horse. Words are of absolute no use at that time and works wonder with the character of being a dumb and deaf person.

go exactly to 3 min

Ek Main Aur Ek Tu - kal chalna shuru tu

Imran understands the word freedom and leaves his house. Yes the absurd thing is he starts driving in Delhi and within night he reached Mumbai. But hey leave that alone. We are here to praise the beauty of scene.

A Walk To Remember

I know I know this is one falls in romantics category but the scenes were pleasing. I guess I have developed some kind of thing for clean atmosphere and here we go again. A refreshing weather and Landan Carter fulfilling Jamies wishes.

Hum Tum Song - Sanso Ko Sanso

What a mesmerizing song with arresting video. Its typical Bollywood dream sequence and still yet again I fall in love with the scenes.

Titanic-legendary scene

Yeah this one is not pitch dark but rather dawn. I guess it falls in the same category somehow. See I know I am wrong but whatever I love this scene so here it is -

Sanjay Leela Bhalsali

I just named the guy to be easy as his films are basically shot in dark with some scenes in daylight. I guess he and I share the same kind of night view love.


Wake Up Sid

How can I leave this one out. My favorite. Be it the first time Aisha and Sid go out for a walk or their time together or aisha's birthday celebration. Hmmm mesmerizing.

Parineeta- Raat Hamari To

Well well a song is completely dedicated to night (raat). I know its melancholy but nice view and song is just amazing.

Notting Hill

The best ever scene I have seen. William saying "Now what in the world in this garden could make the whole ordeal worthwhile? "

Please do add more such scenes in comments as at this moment I can not figure out more but I am sure there are more such scenes.

Images from google
video from youtube
Quote from Goodreads

Gloomy? Watch these!

Over the years I have made a list of my very own comfort movie collection and this so happened that when ever I watched these movies I instantly felt relaxed.

My Best Remedy for Bad/Depressed/Gloomy Mood-

1) Wake Up Sid: Sid, a carefree, dependent and rich young guy who is kicked out of his parents house, finds place to live in his older, intelligent and independent friend, Aisha's small apartment and the film showcases their journey together. A very sweet and much closer to life film. Everyone who has lived alone at some point in life can very well relate to this movie.

2) Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara- 3 old friends decides to go for a much awaited holiday road trip to Spain. The movie has everything - friendship, comedy, hardship, euphoria, romance, breakup, dance, beautiful songs and amazing scenery with life fundas. It reminds you to love your life again. After watching this movie I have made an addition to my bucket list - Trip to Spain :)

3) Eat Pray Love- A memoir of famous writer Elizabeth Gilbert's journey from depressed divorce to happy ever after phase. I personally just love this movie and the additional reasons for me are Javier Bardem, Julia Roberts, interesting Italy and mesmerizing Bali and moreover the freedom of choice which she is able to make in film. I have also loved reading the book but the movie is no less. Instant feel good film.

4) Rang De Basanti- The best Bollywood film according to me. I don't remember even one of such times when I would have felt lethargic after watching this film. It has adrenaline high dose in each scene with best ever comedy timing, strong dialogues,the strongest start cast ever, powerful songs, power packed performance by all starts and just the best movie.

5) Aisha -  A perfect chick flick but with a good feel to it. I know there are people criticizing the movie but I just drool over the nice easy going story. Its a gala time.

6)Kahaani- Vidya balan at her best. Its a thriller movie and you must be wondering why it is in my feel good movie category. Well the movie is shot with brilliance. A picturesque kolkata at its backdrop, visually an amazing movie. I love the night scenes with traffic lights, tram, easy to go appeal. hmmmm. maybe I am looking for peace. And who would not love Vidya's screen presence?

7) Julie and Julia - So tell me one thing? What do you do when you are gloomy? Eat right? So, this movie will satisfy those hunger pangs or may be increase it but will surely help you come out of that zoned out mode. I personally have craving for bruschetta after I watch this movie. yumm

8) No reservation - This again is one of those satisfying movies. Maybe I just love catherine zeta-jones or food or music or love but this is one of those movies I watch most of the time.

9) Sex and the city- I just loveeee Carrie and ofcourse Big and Miranda and Samantha and Charlotte. This has to be in my list as I practically don't remember the times I have seen the film. It has it all - the lose, win, love, lust, friends, city, dreams, freedom aahhhh how much more should I write to convince you all now. Just go and watch it.

10) Sex and the city 2- No more words. Just go an indulge.

Well this blog was no brainier. Right? All the movies I have loved watching when have had sore throat, under weather or sad or bored or in any other weirder mood mostly because they all have that euphoric feeling of happiness. You loose something but with struggle you get that and more back. And mostly these things are not more than life and are simple things which you and I crave for each day. Well I hope you will enjoy these too.

Destiny: A loaded word

What is Destiny?


A friend recently posted a whats app status "The beauty is in Walking... we are betrayed by Destination".  An extremely true statement. Isnt't it?

For as far as I can remember, all that we were told and taught was how to get good grades so that we can get admission in good college so that we can get a high paying job so that we can get good marriage proposals so that we can get settled with 2 kids, partner for life, house loan, retirement plan, a car (better than neighbors) and family holidays. So, everything was planned till the end and I think that is why we loose fun in all this as we know what is leading to what. For example, if you end up getting bad scores then you will end up in average college and then you will end up in basic salary and then you will slog your ass to earn more so that you can manage to get a decent life partner. This is mostly true for our male friends as for females the equation is pretty simple, "(good looks + good marriage proposal) AND (good bank balance + good marriage proposal)  "

I hope I am not being cynical here. I guess these things are important in life... wait a minute... REALLY?

What is the fun in walking a path which is much likely known to you. Even then, there will be lots and lots of issues, problems and heartbreaks so does it not make sense to just keep walking and not thinking about the end result?

I know its not that easy. We are brought up with a knowledge of outcome as we are result oriented people. But still, at some point or other, we might feel that the beauty is in not knowing the answers, in walking the mystical path, in finding a new twist and turns along the way and most people do get to this crossroad after a eventful soul searching episode in life.

What is our destiny?

Its nothing but the outcome of all the actions we end up taking in life. Its pretty simple. It really is not something pre defined or decided by higher powers. As I am sure God didnt want people to live in misery and with pain as I am sure God is not that of a sadist. So, as per my personal belief, the only truth in this word destiny is "its bullshit". Everyone is a loved child of the higher powers and all of us are made up of same atoms and cells. Yes I do agree that circumstances are always different for everyone but the end result is the thing which we create our self and is certainly not something destined.

Think about it, if you will lie on bed crying for the sorrows and will leave it all on destiny then the only destiny you will have is back sores. ROFL.

So lets just live this day to the fullest,do the things which brings smile on someone's face, do something you love to do with passion, keep burning that flame of desire in you.

Go Get Out and LIVE!

Meera chapter 10

Sunday morning# Alarm snooze @ 7 AM# Eyes wide open # Happy smile on face#

This was a new avatar of Meera. After leaving Chirag in Lucknow, she never felt at peace with herself. Things were changing now. She had an admirer and she could say that because in the last one week she had multiple conversations with Sid. Even then one part of her brain kept saying please go slow as those things which happens so quick are usually a disaster.

But this time it was different. She was with a mature man, Sid was almost 33 years old and was well educated from a renowned university. He used to work as a manager at his previous firm from where he decided to quit to start his business. He was smart, decent , knowledgeable and hardworking = all the things Meera wanted in her guy.

She jumped out of bed in a hurry and realized its only 7 and she is not meeting him until mid day so there was a hell lot of time to start getting ready. But time was her enemy as it moved as slow as it could and she did not want to ping him as she didn't want to express her desperation to him. After several cups of coffee and a face pack later, she decided to start getting ready. After an hour while checking herself in mirror she ticked a mental checklist, Hair- well straightened, Makeup- Subtle, Dress- nice jeans and blue blouse which she brought from Zara for this day, it was made up of crochet kind of stitch and was slightly see through, Shoes- her favorite peep toes, so here she was looking subtle and sexy at the same time.

Within an hour with all the prep she was ready for the big DATE. Only problem was she didn't know if this really was a date.

When she reached the pre-decided coffee-shop in Khan Market Sid was already there. It was quite evident from his gesture that he was pleased to see her. They both hugged in a slight awkward way.

Sid while complementing Meera: You are looking very nice.
Meera thanked him and returned the favor.

The waiter came too quick and placed two giant menu cards in front of them which  had a funny shape of Wine Bottle and served them their drinks. It seemed Sid had pre ordered two fruit crushes for both of them.

Meera: Hmmm so finally we meet.
Sid: Yup. I cant say am not excited coz I am.

Meera: (smiling) I cant say I am not impressed by your manners coz I am.
Sid: oh cmon. These are just small things but ya I would like to do something better for you like finding a decent job.
Meera: So did you find one for me?
Sid: Yes mam. I have a friend and there are openings in his organization. I have given him your number and you will get a call soon. (Sid said proudly)
Meera : Oh wow. Thats great. So now I am really impressed.
Sid: Just take me out for a coffee once you get the job (winked)

Waiter came to take orders and Sid leaned towards Meera and said "Since this is the first time we are together why don't you order? " and Meera thought to herself its really is a date.

She ordered some red pasta, chicken ravioli and mushroom with black beans and left the decision of wine on Sid.

It seemed like a complete shift of character in her. Only few months earlier she was all depressed and bruised from a relationship and today her face was stretched the whole time into a smile. She liked the feeling of sitting with a man who looks at her while eating rather than checking out the girls at next table and who talks to waiter in a polite way instead of treating him like a servant.

Sid waved his hand in front of her face, Hello, what happened? Where are you lost? Am I too bad of a company?

Oh not at all. I was just thinking of something, she replied and decided to pay attention here rather than mentally analyzing things. And just then Sid said, "so what do you like to do next?"  and she replied,"I dont know. Anything is fine with me". "So lets go for a movie if you like or may be we can go to Kingdom of dreams or perhaps for a long drive if you like", he offered.

Ummmm, I think movie would be OK for today as I have to go little early and kingdom of dreams is fun only at night and long drive would not be that fun too in this heat, she said.

So they decided to go for a movie "Queen". The theater was quite far for a road trip and thus they had more time to chat in car. It was unbelievable for her that a man can be so intellectual and sensitive at the same time. Their talk again went to politics and system.

Sid: By cleaning roads, this new party will not be able to develop our country. I know cleaning is required but on a list of priorities they should have new industrial reforms and infrastructural developments and forming new policies to increase the gdp.

I completely agree with you Sid but you are deviating from the topic. Government will make policies but when at grass root level there is corruption then how can they ensure that all the implemented policies are taking effect? she said while defending her party.

Oh dear Meera, just give me a month and I will change your views. I promise you that I will make you a pro for my party and they both laughed about it and headed for movie.

While watching the scene when actor in the movie leave actress a day before wedding Meera realized this is the wrong movie she has chosen to watch with him as she was unable to control her emotions at that time. She was  just like the actress some time back. The only difference was she left him but other than that life was pretty much the same. She took an auto with all her bags while he was asleep in middle of night and went to airport without realizing that her eyes were full tears.  A tear dropped while thinking of that night and watching the actress cry. She wiped it quickly but it was too late and Sid had already seen it.

The later part of movie was heroic and they both enjoyed every bit of it. In parking lot, Sid asked her that why she cried and she felt like this is the right time to tell him about her past but somehow she could not tell him and she just gave a shy smile to is question.

He dropped her home and they both hugged nicely this time. He planted a kiss on her cheek and wished her goodnight.

Meera chapter 9

She reached home and all she could think of was how nice Sid was and that she can still be hopeful to meet someone nice like him after the horrified incident in her past where she was abused and tortured to death. "God, I don't want to think about chirag now. I don't even want to remember his name", she told herself.

She checked her phone at least 100 times to see if he pinged her on whatsapp or chaton or did he send her a friends request on Facebook. She decided not to send request first or call first or message first as that has always led her in wrong paths before. She decided to be patient and wait for him to show that he is also interested like she is. The wait was over when she came back from office the next day and decided to login to her Gmail account and here it was - an email from Sid. Shit why didn't I check my Gmail account, she thought.

It read -

Hi, just got up from a long sleep after reaching home.I was thinking about our chat yesterday and now I am wondering if that's why I got lot of dreams last night. But it should wear off soon.  I am unable to find you on Facebook so please send me your link and also I am not on whats app but will download and let you know - not sure if I will stick there though :)

She read over and over again these 5 lines and the first thing she did was to send him a friends request. Ofcourse she had already found him on Facebook but was only being patient. Now she could not be more patient. And voila, he was online so instant approval and they started chatting instantly.

Meera: Hi, glad to see your mail. I hardly login to this id but I am glad I did today.

Sid: Thank you for adding me on Facebook, Why your id was not searchable?

Meera: I have privacy settings thats why. So how are you?

Sid: I am fine. My dog is behaving weird, he is not recognizing me at all.

Meera: Give him sometime. He must have missed you a lot when you were not there and therefore may be throwing tantrums.

Sid: ya you are right. But I am so glad, I am finally on my bed. I just don't get sleep anywhere else.

Meera: Oh, I thought you didn't sleep nicely last night due to dreams.(she hoped silently that he meant her when he wrote that line)

Sid: Ya I know its strange. Usually I dont get that many dreams but dont know how this happened.

At night around 7:45, Sid called on her cell phone. 

Hi.

Hi.

Sid:So whatsup?

Meera: Nothing. I just finished writing my blog.

Sid: I guess I asked you to send me your blog address. 

Meera: Ya... actually its private, I mean except for some close friends, no body knows about that address. I want the blog to be popular in real way.

Sid: Well, ok, But I still want to read it.

Meera: hmmm, ok give me some days. I will send you the link. So what are you up to?

Sid: Nothing. Just planning to go for a movie.

Meera: Which one?

Sid: Highway. Have you seen it.

Meera: No. I will watch it in some days with a friend(She had no plans of watching and she hoped he would ask her to accompany him for the movie).

Sid: Shoot. I would have asked you to come along but these tickets were booked for some time and now I kind of have to go.

Meera: Ok, have fun. talk to you later then I guess. Even I have to complete this blog now.

Sid: Bye Meera. But ping me once you are free.

After one hour, when she was done with he dinner and was enjoying her green tea, she saw a text from Sid.

Sid: someone was supposed to ping me. :(

she replied,  someone is busy watching a movie. :^

Sid: Relax. Its just a movie. Ping me any time. I will reply. :)

She thought to herself, its going way too fast. Either he is just a flirt or I am misunderstanding everything and she replied, "Hmm that's cool. But you enjoy the movie. Will talk to you later."

Sid: You ditcher. :^

This became a daily ritual. He would call at 7:30 PM and that is the time when she would be returning from her jogging. They would talk for sometime. Since he was working at a start up company, he did not have time limitations with him. He would call as and when he is free and since she was also only working with her NGO those days, she used to enjoy those time out with him.

On that Sunday night, he called at 9 PM and they spoke till 2 AM in the morning. He was an intellectual boy and very engrossed in politics. She on the other hand kept all knowledge of the happenings but her heart for more into developing the society so which made their talks even more interesting. A dedicated government would have got ample amount of ideas if they would have tapped their conversations. 

Finally next weekend, they both decided to meet at a coffee house and he informed her about a job opportunity in one of his friends organization. 

Their meeting was all Meera could think that whole week. She decided everything- from attire to hairdo, even conversed with him in mind for several hours..