Oprah in Me

We all have seen numerous episodes of the famous Oprah Winfrey talk show but I gotta say that I always wanted to hear what she is thinking more than the participant's and my wish got fulfilled today when I watched Oprah being interviewed at Stanford Graduate School of Business. 

What can I say. I am more in love with her and mostly more in love with myself. Well, if you are thinking what the hell! she is again self praising then you have to watch the show. Believe you me, you have to.

I was in tears today after a long time. These sort of tears first came in presence in my life when I finished reading "The Alchemist". Its not really the sobbing kind of tears but more like when you know that someone who lives miles away and has never met you has understood something deeper about you and mostly when you have that feeling -- You know that something has woken up or say shaken up-- something was sleeping for sometime is now out there naked in front of you. In easy words- when you have a self realization about YOU.

We know this fact and I truly believe this that pain and sorrows and wrong decisions are all the most powerful and great things in life. When we suffer we actually open doors to self realization and to the understanding of a better decision. Imagine if we simply learn to adjust to the bad circumstances and situations and live with them thinking its destiny then we might take a very long time to understand the purpose, one can call it "The Calling" or in totality "the knowledge of real we". Or may be in right terms - The process of self realization.

Elizabeth Gilbert rightly says- Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.

But does that understanding comes easily to all of us? Well not to me. I too like most people would sit and cry on the sorrows for more than deserved time. However, I personally always know, deep down, that its time - to move on. I always know, that some person and I can just never be friends and this is not because I feel someone is not good enough for me, its just that, I know that at this moment, we are at different places.

Oprah also spoke about the SELF LOVE. I have a personal experience with this and the story goes like - Recently during a training session, we were asked to rate different aspect in our life from number 1- 10 whereas 1 being the most important thing and 10 being the least important thing. The things included everything from friends, family, partner, children, self, job, etc etc. I instantly, without thinking for even a second placed myself at number 1 and passion/ dream at number 2(even if I don't have clarity on that as of today) and then friend and family. I was surprised to see that me and one more guy were the only two people who rated ourselves at number 1 and it really got me thinking that am I self consumed and are all these other people really that selfless?

Well my understanding of the thought is - arent we suppose to fill our cup first before being able to offer the other person something. Oprah today solved my misery. She spoke the same things what I always thought that in life until and unless you are happy with yourself you can  never spread happiness around. Think deeply about this and you also might think the same.
Also, one more thing which stuck and will stay with me forever is, when she said that people often ask this question to themselves-what would you say to your younger self-  Oprah says just RELAX.. everything will be fine. its gonna be ok. The Que to being eloquent with the truth is when you are drifting off-course you know that this is it and you need to shift gears , move in another direction. May be again you will hit a wall but then again you know that you need to turn further more and thus eventually you will come across the path which you are destined for. Sooner or later, one will get there.

She also said- Think what is the next right move and then next move and so on rather then thinking the whole life at once. Further she added, know that your life is not defined by what someone tells you.

So here it goes, the truth revelation once again, you are the master of your destiny. Why live small when you are here for living it large. Why fear criticism when at end you are just gonna be fine.

Meera chapter 8

2 Months back.

Meera was travelling back from Jaipur after meeting her mother from Shatabdi express that is when she found her seat next to a very handsome man. The train journey is for almost 5 hours from Jaipur to Delhi and hence she felt relieved that she does not have to spend that time chatting with an aunty like she did the last time when all that aunty wanted to talk about was how girls of this generation are proving to be extremely bad daughter in laws and how she was the perfect one who always obeyed her mom in law in her younger times.

While trying to adjust a heavy suitcase on the compartment above their seats she almost lost the balance and trembled with the bag. She felt immensely ashamed at herself for being clumsy in front of a dude. On the other hand, he offered his big and strong hands to help her with the luggage. "Thank you" she said to offer her nice gesture for the help provided by gentleman. "That's all right." he spoke in a very manly voice. "Hi, I am Siddharth. pause. How bout you? " he continued. Not only was he good looking, he had a very hot voice too which suited his tall, dark and handsome personality.

"Hi, I am Meera. ", she replied in a calm and happy voice and hoped that the journey of 5 hours would end enjoyable.

"Wow, what a beautiful name. I guess, I have heard it for the first time in real life. I mean I have heard the name before but only in movies and mythological stories but never in real life." he said excitedly.

"Ya, my grandfather kept my name. But it caused quite a stir in family at that time.", she replied.

"Stir? Why?" He was inquisitive.

"Well, if you know about the mythology then the name Meera is associated with sacrifice, loneliness etc and my mother feared that I will end up sacrificing my life for someone I love and will not get the usual happy married life", she told genuinely.

"That's just rubbish. Our society has lot of stigma. I am sure name has nothing to do with all those things in life." he further asked, "so what do you do?"

"Nothing actually. I am searching for a job in Delhi. I just moved in the city couple of months back"

"Oh,well I can surely help you with job. I have many friends in Delhi. Send me your resume and I should be able to help you."

"That's great. Thank you. So what do you do Siddharth?"

"You can call me Sid. I have a startup company and I work with a partner. Prior to that I used to work with reggolb corporation. I am not sure if you have heard of them"

"Ya I have heard of them. They are into event management right? "

"Oh yes."

Their conversation was interrupted when the Shatabdi waiter came to offer them breakfast which included some pasta, bread butter jam, eggs and coffee.

"Hmm I like their breakfast.", he said and to that Meera replied only with an Me too smile.

Through rest of the journey, they spoke about everything from their favorite movies, favorite stars, favorite hobbies to bad travelling experiences. She did not forget to include the aunty in conversation she had met last time. They knew that people seated near by are listening to their conversations. From time to time they were realizing the fact that many people are all ears to their talk but they did not care at that time.

By the end of 5 hours, they knew a lot about each other and there were many similarities like they both were avid fans of offbeat Indian cinema with their favorites ranging from water to rang de basanti to Mr and Mrs Iyer. And to the fact that they both were sensitive towards current and crying issues, she being all for the underprivileged children and he was aggressive towards the corrupt and lethargic politics. They exchanged phone numbers and Sid promised to help Meera in finding a job.

That was a perfect journey and there was that moment when they both felt the need to say bye with a hug but it would have been tat bit too much so they both shook hands and promised to keep in touch but at that time all she thought of was the happy time she spent and that how much she adored her new friend and she had no idea that this little meeting could tremble her life way too much then she trembled in train. But at that time he was straightaway to the bucket where she would keep guys who had chance of turning into some one special.

Bangalore: My favorite city : reasons

5 reasons why Bangalore is my favorite city.

People keep asking me why I like Bangalore so much and even I have been dwelling over this for some time now. Since now I live in Delhi and people there are objective and they need reasons as to why a Delhite would choose Bangalore.
I have to admit that I have started to like Delhi also now(yes ofcourse I am saying this to please my friends in Delhi... BHOLA specially for you) but ya I still choose Bangalore as my favorite city and will recommend to everyone who is fun loving and light hearted.
Ok so here I am trying to be as objective as I can and the reason does not include the default factors like my Bangalore friends since they are my friends because of my hard work (hey guys I am only saying this to gain some brownie points. Don't worry, I know we are friends due to your efforts but shhhhhh)

1) The awesome weather.
 I still remember the first time I came to Bangalore in year 2006 and it used to drizzle every second. Since then the weather has changed a lot and I hear people complaining about global warming and of Bangalore becoming hotter. But guys its still much much better than most of Indian cities. No humidity, mostly breezy, cloudy and you feel that slight cold most of the times. I love it.

2) Mixed culture and variety of food.
You have to give this one to Bangalore. Like most metropolitan, Bangalore as a city is with mixed culture including south Indian and western culture. You would find the fresh and strong aroma of filter coffee and sight of set dosas from udupi garden and MTR and on the other hand you can see a range of western eateries from California burrito, hunan and smoke house deli. Yes ofcourse the prize range of these places wary but then you have great number of options available from south Indian cuisine to Mexican to Chinese to Italian to American. You name it and you get it. And they all taste amazing and friendly to your pocket and the best part is, they are spread all over the city so you don't really have to go to just one place far away to enjoy a cuisine.

3) The enormous number of Cafes/clubs.
This is actually top on my list, it comes even before the weather but may be not for every one so I am listing it on number 3. Bangalore as a city is a cafe culture city. There are countless numbers of cafes spread all over the city including many CCD's and cafes like mateo, Dyu Art cafe to Toit, Jcubez and Arbour brewing company. The even best part about these cafes- you can sit there for hours without being harassed by staff to order more and more. I have had days when I sat in cafes for 5-6 hours writing or reading with only one cup of coffee. And yes when the place is so comfortable you will tend to order more and enjoy their different coffee blends. And they say it right - A lot can happen over coffee.

3 Monkeys

Matteo

The Hole In The Wall Cafe

Toit

4) Safe city for women.
This is one place where I don't have to think twice before wearing an outfit. I can travel confidently through buses also without getting remarks from people. I have lived in Delhi throughout my schooling and hence I am not used to being left unnoticed by crowd (ROFL). Here, I have been on bus at 10 PM wearing my normal attire of jeans and top and have been invisible for the crowd whereas in my city (Delhi) even that has left me feeling naked at times. I feel there is one solid reason for this and that being the majority of crowd in the city is educated and working class and hence these people mind their own business. So Bangalore High Five for this.

5) Transport options.
The bus service in Bangalore is second to none. They have low floor buses for quite some time now and these started way before it started in capital. The buses are still in good condition, they don't make that scary noise that its gonna blast any minute plus it covers major part of cities with commendable service.  Now the metro has also started and that too is shaping up well.

couple of high points I personally saw-
* I was helped by police guys when I was not getting auto at 9 PM from Brigade road. This inspector saw me waiting and without saying a word  he came where I was standing and stopped an auto for me.The auto guy had to take me. Thank you SIR.
* At times you do find certain bad elements who have traveled from shady cities to Bangalore and trying to undress girl in their eyes. On one such day, I happen to saw this weird guy in bus at night time and to my surprise, the conductor saw him too and yelled at this man in front of the bus and asked him to go the rear end of the bus where all the men are seated mostly. Thank you SIR. I must say this neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr took place in any other city where I have been.
* At Bangalore city railway station. I was there to receive someone and needed platform ticket from the vending machine and on that particular day there were some trains delayed and thus there was unimaginable crowd. I just could not have reached the vending machine without being sandwiched and hence a railway inspector saw me and once again he went through the crowd and got me a ticket. Thank you sooooo much SIR.
* AT CCD Kormangla which is in front of Forum mall. I was seated with a friend for some time and that was weekend and thus cafe was full with customers. While leaving, my friend forgot his brand new RayBan aviators and we only realized this after couple of hours. If we were in any other city we would have lost hope but this was Bangalore and hence we got it back when we went there after 4 hours. It was safe with the cafe guys and they had also kept a board saying "We have you RayBan. Please collect it from the staff". My friend was very happy that day and he goes to the same CCD even now.

Meera chapter 7

It was soon time for the jaimala and Kiran's mom asked Meera to get Kiran from the car. Meera and Kiran were friends for a long time and Kiran was the only child and from the time her father deserted both her and her mother, they had no contacts with their relatives from fathers side and this left Kiran with only couple of close relatives including her mother's sister, her husband and their 2 handsome son, Jermy and Jared who lived in Ireland with their parents and were here to attend the wedding. So apart from them Meera was the only close person for her at the wedding.

She had asked Maria, Dheeraj and Sujoy to be a part of this custom where you bring the girl out. It was a picture perfect moment when Kiran was brought to the wedding hall with Meera and Maria on her two sides under phulo ki chdar (flower bedsheet) which was held from four corners by Dheeraj, Sujoy, Jared and Jermy. Anurag looks very happy looking at her to be wife. 

The wedding was in its bloom and Jermy asked Meera's help in taking the gifts to a room nearby and as she was walking with a big and heavy box which seemed like some crockery, she got hit by some one in the front and before she could realize anything, the person in front saved the box from falling on the floor and smash into peaces. She was not that horrified from the accident then she was to look at the person standing in front of her. He was Siddharth (Sid). 

Hi! How are you Meera?, Sid asked.

I am good. What are you doing here?

I am a friend of Anurag and actually his business partner before her left for US.

Oh! well that's great. what a small world, Meera said hiding her nervousness.

Yes! Indeed its a small world., Sid replied. Well you look beautiful Meera.

Thanks. Please excuse me, I just need to finish some work and she rushed to the room where she had to keep the stuff.

The wedding progressed beautifully and everyone looked happy. Thats the thing about traditions, you like it or not, it sinks in you and brings out happiness and joy. Time came where Kiran bid buy to everyone and sat in car with Anurag and after 2 days of staying with her in laws she will be moving back to US. There were tears in Kiran's mom's eyes but she was a strong lady and she always knew that one day this day will come. Kiran hugged Meera for a long time and hugged Maria, Sujoy and Dheeraj and helped them for being there with her on this important day of hers.

Right at that moment, Meera felt some shift in her life. Something changed and nothing was going to be same again. Sid was standing next to her and graciously offered a handkerchief but now she has no reason to behave politely with him since the wedding was over so she just moved away from him and went and sat in the Dheeraj's car.

Sid was left to stand alone and wonder and this is exactly what she had planned earlier, to make him hanging like he did to her 2 months back.

How I start my day!

I am not going to give you gyan on How I start my day.

A random thought popped up in my mind that how much I love getting up on Sunday mornings and with a cup of tea love reading the Times Life paper which is an additional Sunday copy with TOI. The paper keeps on changing and that's the high point about it but I guess I have been a fan of the Times Life paper from the beginning. I wonder why and I think the liking mostly started because of the shiny and silky texture of this paper.

But keeping the physical aspect of it aside, in theory I just love getting up on a lazy Sunday morning and making a very big cup of tea for myself and going to balcony to find my favorite copy of this 4 pages paper and not judge myself for leaving the more important news behind and just reading the shiny pages which has my favorite section "How I start my day". Mostly you have calm celebrities writing these columns ranging from sitar players, life coaches to classical dancers. And may be only these are the people who get up on Sunday morning and reflect on their feelings before starting the day. And may be these are the only people who don't have additional factors in their life like noisy children, over friendly neighbors, loud TV news channel and mother who has kept work for them for Sunday like cleaning kitchen cupboard etc (Don't assume that I do this on Sundays ok. I have better things to take care of in my life like arranging the shoe rack :))

But in practicality what takes place is this or should I say How I start my day is ----

Me: Opened one eye and searched for mobile from one hand. My brains are so active that as soon as I open my eyes, I know I need a cell phone. Wow! Then from that same eye which is now opened 80% and the other one which is trying to cope with the first one, is 26% open, I check my Facebook notifications and whatsapp messages.  After realizing that world has moved on and not many missed me , I finally get up and after some time-

Me:  Making tea and Good morning Mumma.

Mumma: Ho gai Good Morning.

Me: Trying to ignore the comment.

Mumma: Aaj jogging pe nahi jana?

Me: Trying hard to ignore the question.

Me: making tea quickly and running towards the Times Life to read how some one else has started their day and telling myself to change something from next Sunday.

Me: opened the paper and read the following lines- "I love to start my day by doing affirmations and thanking God for what all I have"

Mumma: Atcha suno! aaj kahi jana hai kya?

Me: Understanding where this is going and moving my head for a NO and focusing on the second line -"I avoid starting my day with any sort of nicotine and caffeine"

Mumma: To fir thoda time nikal ke aaj wo bahar wala rack saaf karwa dena.

Me: Hmmm and reading the third line "I give myself 1 hour in the morning to prepare for the day and I pain in that hour"

Mumma: are jawab to de. atcha mat kar.. main khud hi kar lungi. Mummy ki to kabhi chutti nai hoti. Tum aur papa bas subah newspaper khol ke baith jate ho aur main wahi roz ka kaam karu and continues...

Me: Well so the newspaper's way of starting the day is a BIG FAT LIE. I can never start my day like this. So, made a better decision and closed the Times Life and decided to help mom by COOKING BREAKFAST! This is called survival tactic- CHEAT. Give something unexpected and in return you will get some peaceful time to go back and finish that paper.

While making my families favorite breakfast, POHA, I am thinking and rather visualizing a perfect Sunday where I get up from sleep looking pretty and thanking God for the blessings by which I mean -  A beautiful and posh house.. I mean it.. Its very beautiful house.. No you are not getting it. Visualize this-

Me, pretty as ever( Ok no need to smirk, see I have money and money can make wonders to a persons outside beauty. Haven't you seen the difference in previous Deepika Padukone pictures and present Deepika Padukone. Well these are floating in whatsapp forward images since ages) well, so lets continues, me in my beautiful house with big glass walls and a lush green garden outside my window which is like a ZEN space and a loving Dog. I am painting and drinking posh white tea (Who would drink Green tea when rich) and lost in painting and then my loving family comes to greet me. (last one is not that important though but visualize karne me kya jata hai).

NAH, wait a minutes! This thought itself is so filmy and unreal. I can neverrrrrrrrrrrr live like that. Ya sure, I can do with the extra beauty which money can buy and sure would love to have a zen garden in my house but this life is not bad itself. But as Kareena says- Zyada wish karoge to Zyada milega (If you wish more, you end up getting more).

Meera Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Soon it was the day of wedding. Kiran was all prepared to look like a wedding diva in her royal red and gold lehanga. She was a dreamer her whole life and had planned her wedding even before she had any idea about the concept of marriage itself. She collected little things for her wedding outfit, for her honeymoon baggage and for her life afterwards. But with passing time, she completely forgot about those things of her imaginations but there is always that someone who knows you little more than you know yourself and in this case, it was Meera and ofcourse it goes without saying that Kiran was the one who knew Meera better than she knew herself.

Giggling sounds were coming from Kiran’s room and Meera understood that to be bride and groom are busy talking their hearts out.  “Are you serious? You told Steven that you will join after one whole week? Wowww. Finally, you are behaving like a lover. I wish I said yes to you earlier”
“Ya, but for that we should have met earlier. Isnt’t it?”
 Again giggles and the chat is disturbed when Meera enters in the room. Meera, snatches the phone, “Look Anurag, in just 24 hours you will take my friend really far, so please give these hours solely to me. Will you?”
“Oh, hey Meera, of course dear. You can have her even after 24 hours. As you know how pestering your this lovely lady is, I would surely love to buy some more time” in a naughty tone, Anuran replied.
“Oh, I so wish she would have heard that. But anyways, now its too late and you are anyways snatching her away so I only need 24 hours and then please for God’s sake, take her away. I am so tired of her.” As Meera told this she got slapped by Kiran on head.

Auch! Meera disconnected the call.

“Ok, so come here. I have something to show to you.”, Meera uncovered the box which she had in her hand, covered with a cloth. “Oh my God! Is it what I think it is? Meera, you still have this? I thought I lost it. Wow.”
“Well, how on earth I can forget it. You know something funny? I actually stole it from your luggage along with that pink top of yours which I always liked, when you were leaving hostel after final year and I kept it with me for this day. But I had no idea that things would be so different when this day would come. I imagined giving you this on our twin wedding. Do you remember how we both planned that we will get married the same day like the movie we watched, “Bride Wars””
“Ya Meera, those days were so dam amazing. Everything was rozy, we had no worries about future or anything for that matter. All we knew was, we should have fun, fall in love, and get married on the same day , have children and get them hooked and married ” Things have changed so much since college.

Anyways, leave all that behind now and open the box. Kiran had moist eyes seeing the things inside the box. It had the decorated red lace for her wedding dress, some sparkling beads for hair, wedding pictures of celebrities, honeymoon suitcase tag saying "we are on our honeymoon", map of Spain where she always dreamt of going with her husband and many such items.  "I never knew that I would not need any of this when I will actually get married. I have got a designer dress and a celebrity makeup artist so using the things from this box is of no question, spain- well no holidays so no honeymoon" ,she felt very sad for a moment.

Kiran, you know something? Those days, you planned of everything possible but without a partner. have you imagined, how stressful it could have been if you were with a wrong person holidaying in Spain. Now, you are with Anurag, who loves you deeply, and you are going to start a new life with him, start planning fresh. Now, its time that you include a person in your future plannings. I am sure you will have all of the happiness and much much more." They both hugged each other and Meera slides a gift pack to Kiran.

"What is it?"
"open"
"What is it? ts says reservation at vineyard hotel in the town of Sanxenxo. Thats in Spain right? What the hell Meera? Why did you waste your money on this when you know very well that we have no leaves"
"Relax Lady. This is for a future travel. When ever you plan to go there, you can stay in this hotel. This is valid for one year"
Kiran was speechless and just gave a cutish smile to Meera and it was time to start getting dressed up for the wedding.

Meera chapter 5

Chapter 5

Hiiiiiiiiii, Meera jumped 5 inches in surprise when she saw kiran standing at the front door. They both hugged each other tightly. "You are back b*tch, Meera abused". "Yo B*atch I am here. How is the surprise?" and in reply Meera shouted euphorically, "wow Kiran you have no idea how happy I am."
 "Nice, so mam can I come in and how is life at your office? You made any new friends?", Kiran questioned.
"Oh ya, I made couple of friends but you know I take time in making friendship permanent as a Tattoo. Right now, I just feel I am kind of relaxed and I like meeting these people. Rest left to destiny."
Meera snatched Kiran's bags and started finding her gifts and said "so I should be making Arhar Daal and Rice for you, right?"Kiran"
"Yo doll" ,she kissed Meera.
After finishing lunch, while sipping cup of green tea, Kiran broke the news to Meera. "Meera, don't get shocked. I am getting married".
"What? You? Now? WOWWW but who is the guy and when did this happen? Ok wait a minute, is it Anurag? Your Flat mate in US. Isn't it?".
 "Wow darling you are smart, yes it is anu only and I am in Love Meera. In loooove.", KIran made silly school girl sound.
Soon it was the time for stories and Kiran started narrating. At first I did not like him at all. He is a perfect IIT geek and you know how I have always hated these spekies (Guys who wore spectacles). But as we both started sharing the apartment provided by my internship company, I realized how sensitive and caring he was and don't know when we both got attracted towards each other. We started dating and just like that one day on our Paris trip, he asked me for marriage and I just could not say no".
Meera was listening to the perfect romantic story and was realizing how blessed Kiran is to have finally found someone like that. Kiran broke the second news to her that wedding will take place in 15 days as she only got that many leaves and then they both will be returning to The States for a year. This just broke Meera's heart as now she was officially alone and she had no way to look forward in life. But she knew this is for the best as the worst had already past.
So, she pulled herself together and decided to give her best on her bestessst friends wedding. That evening they both went for their favorite golgappas and chat treats. This is how they both used to spend their happy and sad times together during their college days. It was all about love, love they shared with each other, and now this love only shall help them go forward in life. But at some time, you do need to stop a little and question yourself - what is that one thing which you love more than your own self? There has to be something which is above all. This is that same thing which acts as a medicinal relief at times of distress and this is also that thing with which you can spend hours together. It can be a hobby, a pet, a project or something like that.
This is what Meera decided to do. She decided to understand her self better. She knew that everything which she ever thought has changed and its time she also changes. She decided to get back that charm which she used to have once in her. She used to be the most popular face in her college days and so this is how she will spend her coming days. Good or Bad, they are her days. With this thought she turned to her side on bed and fell asleep only to wake up in the morning with a fresh attitude towards life.