How am I doing?

Oprah in an interview said

"The common denominator that I've found in every single interview is that we want to be validated. We want to be understood. I've done over 35,000 interviews in my career. And, as soon as that camera shuts off, everyone always turns to me and, inevitably, in their own way, asks this question: 'Was that okay?' I heard it from President Bush. I heard it from President Obama. I've heard it from heroes and from housewives,"

"I even heard it from Beyonce in all of her Beyonce-ness. She finishes performing, hands me the microphone and says, 'Was that okay?'"

We're always seeking approval — whether from someone you care about…or from strangers.

 Basically it shows that everyone who is alive on this earth needs validation in some form or other. It does not matter how rich or poor the person is and how famous or infamous that person is, all he or she seeks is validation and acknowledgement from others.

Its not surprising that validation is mostly considered an evil personality trait as this basically proves nobody has confidence in themselves and all they are doing or performing in this world is to please others. Everyone wants to be liked and appreciated by others. There is no performance which is entirely focused on make only oneself happy.

5 examples one comes across on almost everyday life showcasing validation at its best:-

1) Your mother who is behaving like Nigella Lawson lately and makes your food with love and affection and what does she seek from you? Appreciation of her food art? The moment you tell her that salt was little more in curry she becomes defensive or at times gives you that long face and you will be like "its not that bad actually. Its nice.. very nice". And what happens next? Your mother will go extremely happy with a broad smile on her face and while stuffing your plate, she will say "Take more sweetheart" and you are like "well, sure mom".

2) After the first kiss the guy secretly wish for a validation from you. While rubbing his hand on his hair he will say, "Umm so, how was it?" And you are like "ummm its was good". And you can see his chest protruding with confidence and that aloof hand coming behind your back to actually hold you like a lover after getting validation that you liked his first act and then well well, Viola.

3) If you are creatively inclined and are working on some sort of art work, be it paining, sculpting, acting, writing, poetry and many more of such things then you also want Validation. All the creative people will agree with me on this to some extent. Yes I know that people create out of happiness and desire to create something and at that moment it does not matter if anyone will care about it or not but the moment it is finished you want to show it to the world and you secretly seek validation, even if it is just a tad bit.

4) A fashionista when dresses in her favorite pair of tights and tank top, carefully picks the right accessory and those tall heels and peep toes towards her office, all she seeks is people to admire her beauty. Yo baby Cleopatra on walk.

5) You buy your new house or new car and what do want from your neighbors and relatives and colleagues? Well simple, you want them to appreciate your purchase and tell you stuff like your decision was better than theirs and you are like "I am so fucking smart".

But, validation is not always the "bad boy" on the block. Imagine you are a kind of weirdo in your family or friends circle and everyone seems to not understand you and then you meet someone who actually appreciate what you are doing and you feel like finally something makes sense.

Your brother always made fun of your song collection and then you meet someone who shows the exact same playlist to you and you are like "wow".

There are good sides and ugly sides of this one big word. If you are stuck in wrong job then no matter how much validation you will get you will know this is not giving any satisfaction at all. Hence I would say, live life on your terms and do what you feel like doing as that is what will make you happy at end of the day. And if time permits why not ask for validation but make sure whom you ask from as the last thing you would want is someone jealous placing you down. And if that's the case then why not go to that mirror and ask that beautiful person how you are doing? You will get the appropriate answer at all times.